Man…I need to find a human dentist who’s first priority is putting my balls in their mouth.

Can you imagine how much cleaner mens teeth would be compared to womens? Everybody would be going to the dentist! And then the hot steamy blonde dentist in a white lab coat would be like “Ooooohhhhhoooooohhhhh, how are you paying sir?” And I’d be like “Oh, I think we can work something out!” And she would be like “We don’t accept medicaid here!” And I’d say “Wha…no. That’s not what I had in mind. Here, how about this hot sausage?” And she’d be like “You mean like itailian food? Are you taking me out on a date? That’s cool…but how are you paying for dental work?” And I’d be like “Huh? How are you not getting this…wait, but you’re still cool with me taking you out? I mean, alright. That kinda seems like a win win for both of us. But about my payment…unzip my pants.” And she’d unzip my pants and say “That’s your penis.” And I’d say “uh-huh…now let me take care of that payment!” And she’d just look at me, unclear what to do. Finally she’d say “I don’t know where we go from here with this…”

Man. I gotta stop watching so much porn. It’s just like that time I got a job as a pizza delivery driver. Damn women always had legitimate currency to pay for their pizza! Every single one of them…