Back twenty years, one side, somebody playing the guitar badly. The other, “Andy” being shouted through the letterbox on regular occasions. Downstairs, loud sex (couldn’t hear it from my place, but out in the corridor it was very obvious). Over the road, murder.

I moved out shortly after that incident.

The family next door used to have furious, thunderous rows all the time, until the couple got divorced and the dad moved out; now it’s all very harmonious.

In my old house I once heard the woman having sex with someone who definitely wasn’t her partner (as he was very definitely out at work at the time). That relationship ended before I moved house!

I’m deaf as a post, so when I watch TV I have a tendency to watch it too loud; apologies to my neighbours for that. But actually I don’t watch a lot of telly these days, so they mostly dodge that bullet.