For me it wasn’t till the depression got overwhelming when I was 23.
Sometime in my early 20s I realized I was starting to dread social interactions. It was gradual, but for a long time I could feel myself getting worse and didn’t know what was happening or where it would end. Those were scary times.
Yep and nothing feels as good as cancelled plans
I’ve realised it’s because as people grow older, they form deeper personalities and opinions. The chances of talking to someone you don’t want to are much higher than when you were young and peers were much less complex. It’s natural to not want to bother sifting through society as it diverges and scatters with age. Meeting someone you really connect with is much less likely.
Since I was 10 lol. Already wanted to commit suicide at that age. Doesn’t help I’m going through a breakdown? today.
Hope your day gets better pal.
Thanks. It probably won’t, but i really do appreciate that someone cares :-) Anyways i’ll probably feel better when it’s the weekend, which is in two days.
Proud of you for looking ahead and am here with y’all too
I don’t know what we’d do without you fxomt! Appreciate you buddy.
❤️
I actually thought my feelings were normal. I was generally depressed.
I eventually came to realize (in my 30s) that I was incredibly anxious, and mostly depressed about what my anxiety kept me from doing.
That led to me learning to face and cope with the anxiety more easily as I developed some skills.
I still feel like I’m rationally depressed though. We could’ve been so much better as a species. As a people.
Everyone is talking about developing skills more skills and techniques. I don’t know what these skills are and I can’t find resources about these skills. And psychologists where I’m from are inaccessible. Where do I start reading about these skills?
One thing I did was to start inserting something ridiculous into my negative self-talk. Then when it popped in my abusive mental dialogue, I started getting better at realizing I was doing it and stopping myself.
Another is to seriously practice self-forgiveness at all times.
Say you’re about to drift off to sleep and remember something you did years ago and you cringe at it, think Why did I do that?! and rehash the moment over and over.
When you do that, you change the very memory you’re recalling. You’re poisoning the well.
If you instead avoid the cringing and laugh at yourself, forgive yourself for not knowing at the time, and acknowledge that you’re a better person now, it pays off when you remember it later.
Lastly, try to figure out the source of your anxiety so that you can address it. For me, it’s strongly tied to my guts, and, well… sometimes I need a snack or to take a dump. And then I can think more rationally about what’s really on my mind.
Self-care and self-forgiveness are monumental. You really have to accept and love yourself, warts and all.
It’s not magic. It’s not a cure-all. And it takes years of work to undo the abusive habits.
The first thing that got through to me was someone on reddit who said “How long would you be friends with someone who speaks to you the way you speak to yourself?”
For the record, I’ve seen three therapists in my life, for one session each. It is something to consider, but in the absence of professional help, you can try to make so as I have.
That start with changing my negative self-talk was 15 years ago or so and I was convinced my medical problems would kill me.
Since then I’ve had surgery (twice), gotten a college degree, got married, bought a house, and had a decade long corporate career I’m about to end in search of something new and exciting.
And I literally thought I would’ve been dead within a year back then.
Over three decades and going
After finishing college. While applying for one of my first big kid jobs, there was a segment in which you could report mental illnesses as a disability. I cried about it more than once and probably will again.
I had been living in a deep depression and anxiety haze for the majority of 3ish years. I remember being confused why I’d be suddenly overwhelmed with emotional distress while walking to class and had no clue where it came from. I didn’t know I was also experiencing frequent panic attacks, sometimes daily.
Needless to say, I am now just aware that I’m periodically going to take trips back down and just try to “suit up” and prepare as best I can to survive them. It’s easier knowing more about what’s going on, but it’s still hell.
I had some suspicions of having ADHD, which is why I went to a doctor to get tested in the first place. Got diagnosed with ADHD, BPD, and autism. Which certainly explained a lot.
I hadn’t even heard of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) until they said I had it, but it fully explains my lack of personal identity and incredibly wild mood swings.
I was in high school at a competition for marching band and for no reason just started crying. I hid near the busses since everyone had gone to the football field to watch the competition.
Probably when I was committed at age 19.
What does this mean? I had a friend who disappeared and was told by my parents that he was committed. When I asked for more, the details were vague and left me with more questions. What happens? My only perspective is from movies and I’m sure that’s completely wrong.
Can’t speak for others but in my case I (voluntarily) entered a psych ward of a general hospital and staid inside for a month.
I don’t think feelings aren’t normal. I know how others act, but no how they feel, no how strong or not they feel, so who can say that I feel too strong? What does that mean anyway? I can do something about how I act but not about how I feel, and I fucking tried. I can be schizophrenic, borderline and whatever my psychiatrists want, my feelings feels perfectly normal in this society. Even if/when I need help. Maybe especially when I need help.
