Self is made of thought, there is no control center anywhere that is “self”. Thoughts appear by themselves spontaneously, you can’t stop them, you can’t make them, you can’t foretell what they will be. And thought has been proven time and time again to appear after the fact that a decision is made, a movement is started. There’s science behind this but you can also experiment with this by yourself.

It is not for the faint of heart and it may lead to a rabbit hole of other insights that might feel scary. The good thing about that is there have been many walking that path, so there is guidance to be had and that scary feeling is also “just thoughts”.