so this one girl, i’ll call her ella (19f) is transphobic, homophobic
she lashes out a lot, exaggerates things, and cannot read social cues. however, she has autism and adhd and is mentally much younger.
she also gets mad when i call a trans man “he” and she says “SHE’S A GIRL EVEN THO SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN LOL”
she says she got her views from her parents and refuses to change because “it’s the way i am”. for someone who was mentally 19, I’d cut contact, but she’s mentally a lot younger.
My brother in laws little sibling is pretty autistic and has a history of being semi-trans-not-understanding…? He saw someone who is a trans male and started HRT a few months ago (i.e. does not fully pass yet) and when he saw the trans man and was told that he was a man he said “but he looks like a girl…?”
for context my brother in law is ALSO trans and has been fully out and passing for like 5 years (beard n all), so he should’ve understood what it was like for ‘trans man’ to be like his brother.
He’s done this with a nonbinary person too, but tbf most people don’t understand how nonbinary works without autism.
What I’m trying to say here is that there’s a difference between hate and not understanding. Sounds like the person you’re talking about is being hateful, so have no shame in cutting contact.
Also if you don’t feel comfortable with someone you don’t need an excuse to yourself to justify leaving.