Circulation issues have been plaguing me for the past several months, and getting a doctor’s appointment is taking an eternity. As I’ve been waiting, the issue has only worsened, to the point where I am quickly losing sensitivity in my hands and fingers. EDIT: “Quickly” as in over the span of a few days or weeks having cold hands, not hours. If that makes a difference.
As a cis male, this has also begun to affect a certain part of the body that requires good blood flow to properly function. Without an incredible amount of sexual excitement, it remains worryingly cold and lifeless. I’m enjoying what I have left while it lasts, but it would be horribly fitting for me to lose feeling there too before I can even set foot into the vascular specialist’s office.
It’s brutal. It really is. I’m in my early 20s, and this, on top of a multitude of chronic health problems, is hitting me all at once. I’ve never had a partner, but I was always so excited to find one someday. But now, things have just gotten a whole lot harder. (That is, except for one thing.)
I don’t want to lose hope. I’ve already tried that in the past from my other health issues, and it only makes things worse. But it’s kind of difficult to imagine what a relationship looks like without functioning parts. Especially when this doesn’t magically make me asexual. I still want to enjoy some kind of sexual activity, but I’m not sure that I’ll be able to do it in the way that most women who would otherwise be compatible with me are hoping for.
I’d appreciate any kind of hope or encouragement, or just practical advice for what to do if the worst comes to pass. I feel that this is a scenario that I need to be prepared for, because god knows that the medical system isn’t fast enough to do anything except record the damage that has already been done.
Thank you, and I wish you all luck in dealing with whatever fucked up shit has come your way, too.
EDIT 2: You know what? Maybe this isn’t about my junk as much as it is my entire fucking body. “Oh that’s weird, the lack of circulation has spread from my fingers to my entire hand in a few days.” Uh, yeah, you THINK? My feet are turning blue, my hands are going numb, my mouth is getting cold, and I’m worried about THIS? Maybe the commenters telling me to get care immediately have a point. Maybe I’m the meme guy who worries about the economy while a meteor crashes into Earth.
Seek immediate medical attention.
In general if you are having cardiovascular issues, such as blood flow, tingling, numbness - check on your vitals. Blood pressure, pulse, blood glucose, lipid panel.
Many people have great success improving cardio vascular function by removing sugar and carbohydrates from their diet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz01qSHR3Ug
Progressive feet and hand numbness… sounds like untreated diabetes to me, based on symptoms I remember when my dad first got it. Definitely get checked / a docs input. Untreated, you can literally lose toes/limbs. I’d even consider starting to eat a diabetic diet while I waited for an appt, to see if it improved the situation.
As for the sex stuff, as an older guy, I reckon the bigger part is to find a partner you want to live with outside of the sexy-time stuff as a priority in general. Everyone ages and their bodies change, physical stuff is important but its not enough to maintain a longer term meaningful relationship, in my experience at least – and ultimately, the time spent boning is a tiny fraction of the time you’d be spending with the other person in the long run. To add to that, I’ve had relationships in the past where we didn’t do much of the direct penetration stuff, but I still found it really… rewarding? titilating? gratifying? … just making her eyes roll back / bite me as she climaxed and then collapsed exhausted. The endorphin release from intimacy isn’t just about getting your rocks off, in some ways the feeling of knowing you can drive your partner nuts is better – to me, that’s what makes me feel ‘virile’, more so than simply fucking/orgasming myself. Biggest issues there was just making sure she understood I didnt feel a need to orgasm myself everytime we were together, so long as I rung her bell thoroughly.
No bullshit, sexual function is an incredibly accurate indicator of cardiovascular health, and good mental health. Get checked, change your diet, take walks while you consume media on your phone, work up to a regular gym routine. Yes you can do it at any age. No it does not work overnight. Yes it’s a pain in the ass. It works though 🙂
As long as your tongue works
- Get it checked! I’m not talking about your privates. Get your circulation issues checked! Don’t take no for an answer and if a doctor down plays it, find another. This is very very serious.
- As for sex. if sex is the ocean then the penis is the beach, as humans the beach is the way to the ocean, it is where we do 95% of our ocean activities, we see the beach and the ocean as a one. But what do fish see? For fish the ocean is the whole world and the beach is just where the land is. In this metaphor you can see how blinded humans are to the small part the beach is to the ocean, just like males tend to be blind to how there is so much more to sex than a the penis. As a male I can tell you that I had sexual encounters that my penis did not participate in, they were awesome and satisfying for both parties. Be creative, learn from others that might have already faced this way before you (ie lasbians, males with ed, males with micro-penis, etc) You really can have a great time for both sides with no penis involvement, just open your mind and give it some time.
All stuff outside the ER (which you should definitely be seeing if you are losing circulation to core organs and extremities).
Of course you can still have a relationship, haha. Some people aren’t really even into penetrative sex. And if you are, there’s medicines that can help, and Bad Dragon even makes a handful of special wearables that give you a… superstructure even if you are floppy (not compatible with condoms, just fyi). Also, even though you are hetero, getting penetrated with toys can also be incredibly fun once you work up to it. Don’t discount other avenues for pleasure as you are sitting (lol) on a gold mine even if you do have problems getting it up. It’s one of those IRL lifehacks that they don’t tell you about in health class.
Anyways, sex should be the least of your worries right now. You’ll be fine whatever comes to pass, though. :)
Not a doctor, just sharing some anecdotes.
https://fridayplans.com/ - Fill out a form and a doctor reviews and you get a prescription to Viagra or Cialis. I personally do the 20mg Cialis and quarter the pills to tale 5mg/day. Been great for my ED. Cialis isn’t as strong as Viagra but it lasts longer. Taking it the way I do I’m pretty much ready to go anytime. The 20mg is for every 3 days, but I take one over the course of 4 days. So I’ll take an extra 5mg every once in awhile before sex for a little extra boost. I didn’t have to talk or chat to anyone. I have read if you put any heart conditions on the form you may have to though.
Now my wife has medical conditions that makes intercourse pretty infrequent. Coupled with the ED, penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex was only happening a few times a year. Similar to you, once the intensity dropped, I’d go limp. She couldn’t go intense. It was causing a lot of marital issues. Femdom ended up being the thing that saved it. She keeps me in chastity. Sex now is mostly going down on her and pegging for me. When I couldn’t get it up, she was loving the (consensual) humiliation aspect of teasing me about my ED. I rarely have orgasms now but the connection felt being intimate is just as satisfying. I started the Cialis after the fact just to have the option for PIV sex. We still haven’t had regular sex despite being on it for months. Point is, there are women out there that enjoy alternative forms of sex.
i heard some men have rare conditions, that basically cuts off flow to penis area, or forms scars that prevents erection, yea you need to see one asap.
Yes there’s people out the like 100x weirder. You’ll be fine in a relationship.
Not saying every person is a good match for you, but that was true before.
I see edit 2 and you ain’t in the ER yet homie!! Get the fuck in there and we’ll talk when you get back if they don’t solve your mystery.
Super briefly, Long COVID can cause clotting shit that a bunch of society wants to overlook, and damage to the erectile tissue can come with unlucky COVID infections as well. Just keep that in your head for the moment.
Now fucking go. All our hope is with you and your future boners.
Lesbians have enjoyable sex all the time, and a penis typically isn’t involved at all! If yours won’t behave, just treat it like it’s no big deal, and continue to have fun using other parts (your mouth and fingers come right to mind), and make sure everyone involved has a good time anyway.
With a new partner, right before it’s time to get down with them for the first time, it’s a good idea to ask if they’ve ever been with anyone with ED, and if not, just explain real quick that:
- If it misbehaves, it’s no big deal; you’re still having a good time, you don’t want to stop, and you’ll just use other parts to make sure they end up satisfied in the end.
- No matter what, it’s not about them, it’s a physical issue. It’s exactly like how they no matter how much they want to, they simply can’t can’t lift and throw a car. It’s a physical limitation, not a desire problem.
- If you end up having to do some DIY at the end, their participation isn’t required, but certainly would be welcomed. [Which in this case means you jacking off once you’ve gotten them off, and having them help you in some way like making out with you, riding your face while you do it, rub you all over, etc, whatever would enhance that for you.]
Then get to it. 😁
I’m fifty. Always was virile as fuck, you know. Had some wild times in my thirties and early forties. Three years ago it fell off a cliff. Still have an active sex life, it just often doesn’t end in a climax for me. And… it sucks for both of us. But it is what it is. More focus on sensuality. Touch still feels good.
She’s hitting perimenopause and she’s having issues from her end of things as well, so I guess the timing worked out for us.
Point is, you can have a relationship, even a sexual relationship, without full function. It’s just different. Good luck, mate.
The right partner might expect certain things that are typical, but will love you for who you are. Go to a ER and make them figure out what’s wrong with your circulation.
OP please do emergency health care! I’m older and have seen people complain of this, I know you say weeks, and not days, but that does not make it better.
Hey brother, get to a doctor.
Also, hands and mouth. I’ve got similar problems. Hands and mouth do wonders
