As an asexual, I’ve already talked about how frustrating it is to see how everything’s sexualized, but I wanted to talk about other specific stuff and I’m sure other aces will agree with me.

It’s honestly so annoying that 2 people of either gender can’t be close together without other people thinking that they’re totally married or in a relationship and shit. This happened to me personally already, some absolute sickos paired me and my sister after seeing us for the first time just because we were sitting together. I’ve also had many friends of opposite gender and same thing happened to my brother also, we couldn’t even hug our friends without getting the looks

My mother(who is straight and also finds this annoying) talked to us about this and said that this became even worse during recent years and that especially before people used to be a lot more closer with each other in friendly relationships, kisses and hugs were normal friendly gestures. Also for example, she slept(key word: slept) in the same bed with her friends of both genders during high school on sleepovers and she isn’t bi, same thing with me as an ace.

Eastern Europe is another special case for close relationships and gestures in terms of hugging, kissing etc (cough Fraternal kiss cough) and some older people especially are so used to it and is completely normal for them.

Allos are generally so annoying about this, they’ll watch a movie and see 2 completely random characters and then talk on and on about what would be if these 2 got in a relationship, even if the characters just stood in the same room next to each other or the media is not related to romance at all.

I mean, they sexualized fucking vampires over time, as someone from Balkans, this irks me on so many levels because these things were disgusting non-rotting corpses which spread plague, transformed into shit like bats, insects, rodents etc and drained people. Like no sir, if they were real, they wouldn’t be interested in any kind of relationship with you, they’ll see you as bloodbag and drain you dry if you didn’t already die of plague they brought beforehand.

Same thing goes for many other things which allos sexualized or see in sexual way, be it friendly gestures, closeness with family and friends or just generally normally being together or spending time with someone. Real life isn’t a drama TV show where everyone’s cheating everybody and sleeping around with anyone they know or meet.

    • Jin008@lemmygrad.ml
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      4 days ago

      Can you explain this stuff to me, my third-world ass can’t be bothered to go looking on western internet to find out whatever this is

      • shath [comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
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        4 days ago

        A verb used to describe the action of wishing for two people to enter a relationship (whether romantic or occasionally platonic) in books, movies, tv shows or real life. Shipping can often happen involuntarily, and it is the majority of what happens on the website, Tumblr. There are some very popular ships, some unpopular, as well as often lots of controversy between ships from the same fandom.

        • Jin008@lemmygrad.ml
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          4 days ago

          Astaghfirullah. Why? I literally can’t fathom why this is a thing. Are cross-gender friendships uncommon in the west??

          • Tovarish Tomato@lemmygrad.ml
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            3 days ago

            I wouldn’t say uncommon in general but the closest friendships are usually between people of the same gender. In my experience, there’s a point of “closeness” in a cross-gender friendship where society and your peers will expect you to move on from being friends and become a couple. Especially for asexuals this can be quite overwhelming and lead to a distancing from the other person.

          • Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.mlOPEnglish
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            4 days ago

            I’ve also recently learned wtf the term even means, I legit thought that it has something to do with ships.

            I don’t know how common they are there, but they definitely have a tendency to pair 2 people of any gender together, regardless of their actual relationship to one another. One of the worst cases I saw is that they take stuff like historical photos of 2 random people, pair them randomly and declare that they were a couple. Of course many times it turns out that the people in photo are friends, cousins or literal close family members.

            Extremely weird obsession.

            • eatCasserole@lemmygrad.mlEnglish
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              4 days ago

              As a weird little way of coping with how dumb it is, I will always insist that it does have something to do with shipping, like as in transportation of goods, when it comes up IRL.

              So if you’re shipping two characters, you’ll need a box big enough to contain them both, and you’ll need a destination to ship them to. It’s silly but it’s more entertaining than despair.

    • Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.mlOPEnglish
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      4 days ago

      Idk we need ships, there have been some really cool ones through history.

      For real, it’s one of the worst things ever conceived.