The older I get the more clear basically every facet of our society is to exploit us and fill us with propaganda.
The first thing that comes to mind when I wake up is how much I just hate being surround by this species that seems to want nothing more than to destroy itself.
Everything is a fucking joke and I’m fucking tired of everyone but I have a daughter.
I’m absolutely miserable and disgusted by basically everyone but I don’t have the luxury of being able to quit. I just long for death.
Gratitude is a revolutionary act in times like these. Since you’re going to die, anyway, you might as well enjoy the ride as much as you can and teach your child to do the same. If you manage to make the world a better place along the way, then so much the better.
Peace.
Understandable and feels for all of that. Only reason I’m still alive is not because I fear death but I’m afraid of surviving it and living a even worse life by force. The Amerikkkan medical system is extremely hard on people who attempt it and don’t really care if you lost a arm or something, they will still treat you just as shit and probably worse. So yeah, it’s not about being afraid I might hurt others because I’m gone. I’m afraid I might hurt others because I survived it and they have to take more care of me because of it.
This. Its sorta hard to die in some ways in the modern world without taking a big risk of severely disabled survival.
Just like eating only junk food is bad for your body, so is current news bad for the mind. I suggest you seek out actually positive news channels on YouTube or smth. We live in a very shitty world but there is still so much good in it. There is free open source software out there, there is volunteer work, there are people who give time, money, energy to worthy causes, with nothing to gain. And that’s worth fighting for (Mr Frodo)!
Positive news? What like the “all of these employees gave up sick time to coworker” kinds of stories where you need to not ask the obvious questions to feel good about?
I’ve never experienced anything positive that was news worthy that I’m aware of.
Its not just news, its the little things. Local things. Kids hitting new milestones in learning. Beauty in nature, and in the hands of artists all around us. Different wondrous things being researched that are going to help the human race in the future. There is so much wonder and excitement in this life just waiting to be experienced, but most of these things are not easily monetized when reported.
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There is a way to make a lot of things better quickly, but it is quite violent
I’m familiar with the feeling, but luckily not in that state right now.
Idk that there’s much advice to help you. TBH, nothing anyone says when I’m in your current thought space (or rather my version of it) ever helps. The only consistent thing that helps me is time.
I guess I could recommend giving medication a try if you haven’t.
The other thing that might help is checking yourself into a psychiatric hospital. At one of my lowest points, I just wanted to walk into traffic; it was all I could think about. My therapist recommended I get evaluated at a local psychiatric hospital and they suggested I stay for a week, and I agreed. Mostly, they kept me safe from myself while time passed and I processed through my feelings. I also had some imbalances that needed medicinal correction. And, when everything was said and done, I didn’t have to pay a dime - and my insurance sucks ass.
Anyway. I know you can’t feel it, but everyone is pulling for you. Stay with us. 🫶
I’m so tired of being told I’m sad because I don’t have drugs.
I’ve tried a dozen medications and they all make me feel worse. One made me allergic to fucking sunlight.
Our world is broken and dying as the rich hasten it along and we’re gaslit to accept the blame for it.
The police are thugs servicing fascist tyrants and protecting them from us.
Wall Street, Walmart, schools, healthcare, fucking everything is about controlling and exploiting.
When I was a kid, super soakers were a hundred dollars. China has basically battery powered water rail guns at that same price point now while we still have the same hand pump plastic shit. The US gets farther and farther behind the world and yet somehow even more up is own ass despite being one is the dumbest and fastest countries on the fucking planet.
I hope I didn’t come across as, “You need drugs.” I totally get that they don’t work for everyone. The brain is complex enough on its own, let alone what meds do to the rest of your body. I’m lucky that they help me a lot, but it did take a while to find my mix.
You seem to have a big heart and sharp mind for large problems that affect us all. It’s a burden. Maybe you can figure out some ways to make small differences in your own life. - Not like holding a sign at a protest. More like choosing where to spend money, reducing fun spending during the next 4 years (staycation instead of vacation, for example), showing up at city hall or school board meetings and standing up for the defenseless. Maybe finding something small that you can DO will help you feel less hopeless over time.
—Unnecessary Examples Below—
One thing that I’ve been thinking about lately is how absolutely isolated we are in the U.S. about everything: culturally, socially, international news, now supply chains… Like yeah, everything “comes from China,” but we get charged insane prices for the privilege of “buying American” because of assembly processes or whatnot.
Anyway, alone, we can’t do much to affect the massive profit machines, but maybe there’s a way to buy your super soaker railgun direct from a Chinese warehouse. TikTok is buzzing with workarounds for products and tariffs.
Another thing I’ve been sitting with is just acknowledging that my fellow Americans lack basic understanding and empathy. They don’t even understand concepts like object permanence or being kind to your neighbors. And it hurts. Idk why, but it does. Maybe I just feel bad because I told myself a lie, or maybe I’m mourning the loss of a group of people who never existed. In any case, I flicker between sadness and spite. I’m in Texas in a district that voted 73% orange: I can safely assume that anyone I run into hates my guts. So I reflect their energy when it’s appropriate, like in traffic situations or grabbing things rudely in the grocery store. So far, this microscopic outlet has assisted me in finding some small way to process my anger and grief.
I used to feel more suicidal. Nowadays I think if I was feeling like I truly wanted to do that, I would want to take an oligarch with me
We could use more of this feeling.
That’s a sad sentence. I feel sad typing it. I feel sad reflecting on the truth of it. I feel sad every second that I don’t see breaking news of Trump’s (and musk, and (insert every currently elected Republican name here) brutality-record-setting tortuous death.
I wish he could die more than once, just so different kind of pain could be inflicted on him each time.
So yeah, any of you out there that feel this way, please take a trump with you. Take an RFK with you. Take a Boebert with you. Something like that, take at least one.
Weaponized depression; what is this world coming to?
If you do, at least pick carefully. I can just picture some guy shooting a real estate agent because he looks fancy.
That’s my current state as well: if I kill myself just like that, the ones in power won. So I’m not letting them win. Either by surviving or… your option.
Whatever the reason is, I’m glad you’re still here.
I actually seriously considered that thought for the first time the other day. Turns out hurting my family is a pretty good motivator to not off myself. It’s a double edged sword though because I also don’t do other things I want because I don’t want to hurt them or face their condemnation.
I’m glad you’re still here.
Thank you friend.
I’m not suicidal and never have been, but I’ve certainly had dark thoughts. If I were ever pushed to that point, the pain I would inflict on those I care about would be the reason I couldn’t do it.
Been there, all depressed because of current state of the world, and learning that the “solutions” or “ways out” by the media are false or just delaying the inevitable/distractions, and judging from your comments you might be feeling the same thing.
However, if you do that, not only would your daughter suffer but the world would also lose someone truly radical in today’s society, someone who would truly sees past the ideology and propaganda we’re subjected to. If everyone like that were to off themselves or start heavily abusing substances as a tool of escapism, the world would never change and people with a future ahead of them like your daughter would be doomed for certain.
It’s important to cling onto hope - a better world is possible and you can be a part of building it, both individually but more importantly, collectively. Drop subtle hints in your conversations about what you think is wrong nowadays, who the real enemies you see are, plant the seeds in your colleagues and hope they’ll come to the same conclusions by themselves. If you see any resistance organizations aligned with your views politically, why not join them - after all, you’re not alone. Point is - there is still hope for change.
Though if it works and it does make you feel better, you can also start focusing on positive/good news, even though I’m skeptical it would work, pandora’s box and all. Maybe even seek counseling or therapy if you have access to it.
I’ve given up on hope. There’s too much money to be made off suffering.
I don’t know, there is no data about that
I felt that way for a while, then I found out those people didn’t care about me as much as I thought. I’ve been holding on to my anger at that to keep me going for a year now. I dunno what’ll happen once that burns out.
theoretically if my death would upset no one I’d be out tomorrow. I’m over the loneliness
Or just because others depend on them. Kids, spouses, parents, etc.
I am. I really do not like existing but I want to make sure my mother has someone who cares about them in their life still.
