I was repeatedly bullied, manipulated, stalked by her friend, and she tried to “ruin my life” by giving me a bad reputation and treating me differently and like a monster because I was different from her. For years.
I was repeatedly bullied, manipulated, stalked by her friend, and she tried to “ruin my life” by giving me a bad reputation and treating me differently and like a monster because I was different from her. For years.
I’ve been reading your posts and… I’m quite unsure whether or not this is appropriate to ask. Well just don’t answer if you don’t want to.
What does it feel like to… be like you? Like your resentment towards those who wronged you?
I have no mental disorders (apparently) but I was raised in a rather interesting way. That being, stuck in a small social circle with nothing but books. I’m 19 right now and my whole life was just people patting me on my back for being smart. No real connections whatsoever.
I understand the conditions that people such as yourself go through but I literally can not grasp my mind around the concept that one would feel resentment towards another. Obviously people hate each other but what talking about is still thinking about that person’s effect on you while they are not there.
Just to be clear, I am not saying any of this as means to devalue or insult you. I literally don’t understand. When one talks shit about me I just say “whoopsie oppsie!” and go on.
I wish I could be like that, I’m trying. I just feel very angry toward them and it feels like I’m absolutely disgusted by their actions, to be honest. They treated me, someone who did nothing wrong, like dirt. I find it disgusting and it hurt me.
I guess you can become like that? I remember times when I took all the shit to heart. I wasn’t told much though just like “your nose is big” silly stuff like that hurts when it is the only bad thing you hear though so I hope you understand.
I’m actually both sad and glad I am this way. On one hand it feels great to untouchable by words and y’know just live the life.
But… it feels like I lose something when I am, in my own terms, a wall. It’s like… yeah I have a spine (not to say you don’t I’m so sorry if it came out that way) but it just feels like… I sometimes hurt people along the way.
I saw your latest post about your partner David and his friend Sean and I’m sad to say I have a friend whom I treat the way Sean treats you parther.
Now I don’t know anything about any of you but I can safely say in my case the guy is a dick who doesn’t respect my boundaries.
Obvious thing to do for me is to cut ties with the guy. And I did. Albeit with hesitation. There is this little thought in my head that lingers “am I a dick?”.
The guy is pretty messed up. He lost his father long ago and probably has schizophrenia. That is why I feel bad. And… why I kind of envy you.
Anyway the point is, you can fix yourself. I have found it’s to be optimistic and be aware of the greater things going on around you. It makes you think that whatever happens to you, is so small in compared to the great things around you that they are ultimately pointless.
How you might do that? Well I don’t know I read fiction books all my life my brain just turned that way. I guess you could do the same. Hobbies, hobbies, hobbies.
Thank you so much!! I’m sorry about your friend. Sean treats David that way and I get that David could be clingy or annoy Sean, but he really does NOT like him at all.