sometimes i feel like my mannerisms are too girly/unpassable even though im a guy (a trans one or under the umbrella like the community im posting in), like i know it doesn’t mean anything, but someone told someone they wouldn’t pass as male if they used emojis like 😭 or ☺️ even though my bf uses them all the time. idk, i know im a guy and there’s nothing wrong with femininity, but still, this is a lil rant i guess
Masculinity is in a bit of a crisis right now. Cis men are trying to (or refusing to) figure out how to excise the toxic elements and make a culture better for them and those around them.
This puts trans men in a weird position. We can cling to the old ways, hurting ourselves and others, and in doing so scrape together enough acceptance to pass, or we can risk being called fakers by living in a healthier way.
Personally, I think we’re in a good position to lead by example. We are the self-made men and we can decide to leave out the pieces of masculinity that don’t benefit us to make for ourselves and others a model of what being a man can and should look like.
Unfortunately, this does nothing to help the passing problem, and tbh I wouldn’t be someone to ask. But imo you shouldn’t have to give up things you enjoy just because society says things like “men don’t use emojis”.
As others mentioned, it’s a personality trait.
Society expects men to do “manly” things and those that does or enjoys “girly” things are often ridiculed (it is changing but very slow).
As a cis man who uses emojis when chatting, cute stationery, pastel colours, “cocktails for women” and other “girly” stuff, I assure that you will pass as male.
idk i use emoji all the time, if someone told me they would think i was a girl because of it, i would… look at them like they were fuckin idiots and ignore them LMAO
but i’m quite a bit older, if i had to guess (altho i am being a bit presumptuous here)- this reads like something one would hear from some insecure teenagers who haven’t really unpacked gender roles. the concept of “passing” over text message is quite funny, i won’t lie
just remind yourself that you are a guy, regardless of your mannerisms or texting style or… whatever. there’s no correct way to be a guy, and i would say that being the way you are, especially if others say it’s “wrong”, is pretty damn manly, imo
you’ll find whatever feels right for you, as far as presenting as a guy, from there
it’s very much a personality thing that has nothing to do with gender
As a cis guy, I rarely use emojis other than thumbs up, but that doesn’t make me any more masculine than you.
Please don’t measure yourself by toxic stereotypes like men are power hungry brutes that see any display of emotions as weakness.thank you so much 🙏 a trans girl (she was a tomboy) actually said she was more masculine than emoji-users because she didn’t use emojis and that it gave away being afab or something because it’s “how teenage girls text”. thank you thank you!!!
To me emojis are more age than gender coded.
For example most young people I know (with the exception of one teenage boy) are similarly sparse with emojis as I am, and if you sprinkle some of 😄😎😳🤗🥰🤩 in and you can fit in with boomers and gen x of any gender.that makes more sense than what she said, thanks so much!!! i tend to use more emoticons than emojis like ^^ or :)
Speaking as a trans woman: men often are under an expectation to not display emotions. And trans people in general have our transness weaponized when we don’t partake in stupid gendered expectations. Had you been cis you would’ve been called a girl (or gay) over such things.
Back when I was lying about my gender constantly, my response was to imply that the accuser was too insecure in his manhood to be a little feminine.
Learning a new gender is a bit like learning a new language. You can learn the basics pretty quickly, but passing as a native takes effort and quite a lot of time. Keep it up and you’ll get there.
thanks so much!!!
