They are distinct

  • Fletcher@lemmy.today
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    21 hours ago

    Emulate honorable people instead of popular people.

    Never use ‘telling the truth’ as an excuse to speak without thought or compassion.

    You are 100% responsible for what you say and what you do. Own your shit.

    If someone is trying, but struggling - encourage them. If someone is struggling, but not really trying - encourage them.

    Don’t waste your time trying to ‘be a leader’ or climb any corporate ladders. Just do your job and be kind, generous, truthful and compassionate. What is meant for you will be for you.

    Read. A lot. From actual books. As many as you can get your hands on.

    Stop putting yourself down. Seriously, it’s not fucking helping you. AT ALL.

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      20 hours ago

      Stop putting yourself down. Seriously, it’s not fucking helping you. AT ALL.

      I’m almost 40 and this has been literally the hardest thing in the universe to do for my entire life. It doesn’t help to do it, but to deny it feels like I’m lying to myself anyway.

      I have the absolute worst double standard with this. You drop a pencil and “it’s ok friend, it happens, no one is perfect.” I drop a pencil and it’s “wtf butterfingers jackass, you can’t even hold a pencil properly no wonder you’re still single.” Lol

      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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        12 hours ago

        I think putting myself down does help me. I was raised by a narcissist intent on making me their reflection. I put myself down to counteract 18 years of narcissistic conditioning. Granted, if you weren’t raised to be a narcissist you probably shouldn’t do it. I’m an edge case.

      • Fletcher@lemmy.today
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        18 hours ago

        It doesn’t help that our culture - especially internet culture - loooooooves self-deprecating ‘humor’. We even put ourselves down for putting ourselves down! I’ve had a lot of success with trying to focus more on my triumphs than my failures. It’s all about the language I use with myself, I’ve found. When I have a victory (even a small one), I say “Good job! You nailed it!”. When I fail, I say “Well, that sucked…but you’ll get it next time. Keep trying!”. Most of us don’t have our own personal cheerleaders, so we have to become our own. :)

      • Almacca@aussie.zone
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        20 hours ago

        I phrase it as ‘Never put yourself down. It gives people the perfect opportunity to agree with you.’

        • Asafum@feddit.nl
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          20 hours ago

          It’s sort of like “if I keep quiet, they won’t know how stupid I am!”

          I can be the quiet “mysterious” (idiot)!

          Or just a creepy weirdo. Whatever works Lol