I once posted in this community about an incident with the HVAC repair guy that nearly upended our relationship. (TW b/c there is a description of self harm) We stuck it out since then. Went to couples therapy, etc. It helped for a while, but at some point it ran its course.

Today, we’re worse off than we were before therapy. I’m so exhausted. I feel tense and like I have to walk on eggshells around her. I really thought she was the one, and now I just don’t know what to think anymore.

How do you know when it’s time for things to end? I’m worried it’ll be a terrible mistake to end things, but at the same time, it might be for the best.

  • hendrik@palaver.p3x.deEnglish
    3·
    4 days ago

    Thanks for the explanation. I should probably not ask my questions here, but listen to some detailed podcast about it. Concerning your situation, I really don’t know. Seems you tried. I can’t judge and as always we’re missing the other half of the picture. But you don’t sound very optimistic or happy. You’re probably genuine with your question, but it also feels to me like part of you made up your mind already and you typed this down to hear some affirmation. And I wouldn’t know a good alternative either, after a year of trying including professional help. Ideally you’d talk to a close friend and not internet strangers, maybe someone who knows both of you. But that’s always easier said then done.

    • Blu@sopuli.xyzOPEnglish
      2·
      4 days ago

      You’re right. I should be asking my friends. But, a part of me also wants to know what a stranger would say. My friends know and care about me, but I think it’s worthwhile to see what someone totally removed would say if they knew how I felt.

      And I won’t lie, maybe a part of me is looking for permission. I don’t want to feel like I’m crazy or making a rash decision.

      I really appreciate it, though. It’s tough, and I don’t think there’s a ‘good’ answer. No matter what I do, it’ll be an unhappy outcome on some level.