Hmm, so they were aiming for something else, but got here instead because they had crank theories about the shape of the universe? (Columbus thought Earth was egg-shaped instead of a sphere, like everyone had correctly thought since the time of ancient Greece)

They call us something translating to “the Andromidans”.

“This isn’t Mars? You’re not martians? Ah fuck you, you’re martians.”

Translated to English, probably “Name-of-Star” 3, as in 3rd planet from our star, same system as Star Trek. The key difference is Columbus had no idea where he was going, and aliens have to know exactly where they’re going. Can’t shoot into space and find a planet by accident.

If we’re going by Columbus logic, probably “Jupiter”

Blue Marble probably