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I like to use partner even though I’m in a hetero relationship just cuz it sounds better.
Also just to normalize it.
Calling my fiance my partner makes me feel like we are a pair of ranch hands in the wild west, instead of two introverted weebs :3
Same. I say my partner, because also girlfriend sounds too casual for what we have, but we aren’t married. It’s just very useful and gender neutral term.
“My wife” just feels wrong to me.
Because of the historical implications, it sounds possessive.
It also has Borat implications
I use it in a heterosexual relationship because it sounds weird to call my partner of 20 years my girlfriend when we are both 40. We just aren’t married, so if I said wife people would question why I don’t wear a ring.
Though if people thought I was gay, who gives a fuck? It’s current year after all.
Similar situation here. But also, the fuck does their gender matter most of the time, you know?
I usually introduce the guy I’m working with as my partner. It bothered him at first because he’s like you make us sound gay. Then he realized that wasn’t a bad thing.
I always imagine cowboy hats and saying “howdy” a lot
Well in many languages the gender of the partner is evident from the form of the word used.
In my language for example it’s partner for male form and partnerka for female form. (Most of the times this coincides with the partner’s gender).
Wait, is calling your partner ‘a partner’ a dead giveaway that you’re gay? I’ve been doing this all my life partially to normalize the term but also because I’m gay lol
I’m straight and married but I say Partner because “wife” and “husband” sounds like a human property arrangement.
I know at least one other straight couple who says partner because they don’t want to get into a long discussion about why they’re not getting married
Agreed, same situation and we both refer to the other as partner. All our peers generally do the same and it’s very normal (UK).
I’m not gay, but I’ve been saying my partner for years. Saying girlfriend felt like it diminished the seriousness of the relationship. We’ve been together 15 years. She is my soul-bond.
I couldn’t say wife because we only got married the other day. Partner feels like it implies a more serious connection than girlfriend, at least to me
Why is partner more common than spouse? Is it because gay marriage was only recently legalized? I just find the word reminds me too much of business jargon and buddy cop movies.
I personally like my chosen one, cause then it’s like we are in an epic quest together.
probably because partner is pareja and that’s gender neutral, while spouse is esposo/a and that’s gendered. Spanish being one of the world’s most spoken languages does have an effect too.
I just find the word reminds me too much of business jargon
Yeah. It’s sterile and contrived, IMHO. We have ‘spouse’; it’s on forms already. In the days before everyone was misspelling names for attention (Hi D’wayne; this is Duane) its less sterile sterility would be the perfect sterility for sterile people.
My wife and I were together decades before marriage. I can tell you no one cares about what your home life is like. You’re just not that important. And that’s the takeaway: use what you want, no one cares, and I’ll clarify every damned time.
It also covers fiancees and pre-engagement relationships.
Or any relationship with an SO for that matter. I feel like the term, “Pre-engagement relationship” suggests that the procession into marriage is somehow requisite to the development of a relationship.
word connotations have power in public discourse. its part of why languages shift we’re constantly attempting to avoid meanings that cause stress.
Partner’s prevalence imo (without any study to back this up) is less about gay marriage and more about equality between heterosexual couples. There is a lot of gendered baggage in hetero terminology. Gay marriage and the transition of hetero couples from gendered terms to neutral terms are a correlated phenomenon. Basically they likely have the same underlying cause but one did not cause the other.
My guess is its the acknowledgement of equality between people in relationships and the rejection of government defined roles at the root cause of both changes.
more about equality between heterosexual couples
Oh, so that’s what bigots mean when they talk about the gays destroying traditional family values.
(feigned surprise)
