I Think you misposted homie. This is the far side community. Mind you, this one has that absurdist vibe the far side often uses, so maybe it was intentional

I love that the typo of eek in there works just as well as the eke intended. Sometimes autocorrect can be entertaining

No, no it isn’t. Not by a big enough margin to matter anyway. The koala one takes three basic facts and misconstrues them so horribly, I think it’s worse in a way

Koalas

a small overview about the chlamydia

and it isn’t even something they causedit was from invasive species.

One brief overview

with some extra info

The reason koalas eat only eucalyptus isn’t stupidity. It’s niche evolution. They live in a place with high competition for resources. Having specialized digestive tracts and gut flora allows them to have a food source that isn’t under competition. this is a benefit, not a failure. They literally eat something that is poisonous to pretty much every other species. That is an incredible evolutionary adaptation.

Their joeys eating pap is not exclusive to koalas either. It’s not only found across the world, the exposure to the gut flora of the parent happens with most mammals, if in a less direct manner. You can even find a ton of information about what happens when human gut flora becomes unbalanced, and it isn’t very pretty. It’s just worse for koalas.

Not every species is a generalist, and we don’t want them to be.

a note on why koalas bellow so much

The source may be a crappy blog, but the information in it matches more detailed data from better sources, and keeps it short enough for this.

As with most behaviors in other species, attributing human judgement and definitions tends to be misleading. While koalas are pretty unique in the lack of mating rituals, they’re not doing it for human reasons. Nor are attempts to copulate outside of season as common as the pasta makes it seem. Besides, that’s something humans actually do share with them besides the presence of fingerprints. It also isn’t so rare in animals as to be remarkable. Copulation behaviors are used outside of mating by plenty of species for social reasons. It isn’t in koalas, but since it does increase the chances of mating, it isn’t a bad adaptation.

And the extra cerebro-spinal fluid isn’t a special ed helmet, it’s another adaptation found in other tree dwelling species. Why would an arboreal species having adaptations to mitigate risk from falls be a negative?

Yeah, I get it, the pasta is meant for entertainment, but it also spreads half truths, outright incorrect or outdated information, and skips over facts for the entertainment value. Then people read it and spout it out later as fact.

It’s just a crappy copy pasta, not anything meant to be taken as truth, but people are more dumb than koalas.

This pasta in particular isn’t the worst (the sunfish one takes the prize for being the most full of bull). Nor is it a bad thing to enjoy as entertainment. But for crying out loud people, don’t take random, unsourced copy pasta as an educational tool.

Also This comment covers some things I missed

Then there’s this one that is even better

The fuck are you smoking? Russian grown weed, I guess

Agreed completely.

Not all of them, no.

Most of them don’t do those nice, sturdy bubbles at all, but they’ll get close. Iirc, almond milk comes closest…

It matters in some recipes whether or not the milk substitute will have the right properties. Say, something like a mushroom cream sauce, none of the substitutes work because there’s just not duty enough fats. Milk gravy is hit or miss, with almond being the least bad choice iirc. American style biscuits, soy and almond do okay, but need extra acid to get a good rise like you can with buttermilk. But they sub in fine for regular milk in terms of texture and taste.

Stuff like that. Blowing bubbles is a quick way to test a fake milk. Or even types of cow milk, or milk from other animals. Goat milk, as an example, is so close to cow milk in terms of structure it’s an easy substitution if flavor isn’t a factor. The powdered milk you can get for long term storage or baking is no better than the usual non dairy stuff when reconstituted, and not even as good as skim milk despite being the dry parts of skim milk.

For good bubbles, you need fats. And they need to be similar enough to milk fats, so there’s a high degree of parity between a bubble test and cooking outcomes

That was my first thought too :)

I mean, I’ll fight you for fun.

Listen worm! All know that a waffle cut exposes the greatest surface area to the heat source. This results in the most optimum caramelization, you spavined cur!

The crowned crispness of the waffle cut is superior in all ways, you petaQ!

Waffle cut! For the glory of the Empire! Death to all crinkle cut worms!

I don’t think your opinion as expressed is rare as much as it is people not liking/wanting the options that are currently out there as they are.

If they were all open source and/or free of corporate manipulation, there’s big swaths of objectors that would be okay to enthusiastic about it.

If they were fully capable rather than being a mishmash of levels of readiness, another swath would either support or cease to object.

And, you’d also see increased support if the system underlying everything was more supportive of the people that are going to have to shift jobs when the models are fully capable rather than the varying stages of capability.

Eventually, it’s going to be the dominant tool for almost all use cases, and there’s nothing wrong with a tool reducing the need for humans to do grunt work. It’s all the knock on effects that are the problem, not the fact.

They’re funny for sure :)

Little homie needs to lay off the 'nip if he’s going to pursue a modeling career

If you’re wanting to do stuff like festivals, you’d probably want to find a clown school.

But doing it as a volunteer, all you really need is a suit, a face, and skills. Juggling, balloon making, card tricks, etc. Then you reach out to facilities and work out the arrangements for a performance. Hospitals can be a tad restrictive about who gets to do shows for pediatric wards, so you’ll likely want to try nursing homes first and build up a local rep.

You can also try to hook up with local sideshow type troupes. Clowns aren’t always welcome, but you can usually pick up some skills if you’re honest about it. The fire performers won’t teach you, but jugglers and magicians will usually share some basics as long as you aren’t trying to shaft them with it.

Need a bigger magnet.

Also, how do they work?

Oh man! Those small producers almost always knock it out of the park.

The pickled and preserved are like two glorious sides of a coin.

And they go great together.

Yeah, I was the same. Just pissed me off that people took what was meant to be a humorous rant and pretended it was factual.

When I ran across tea and crumpets’ rebuttal, I saved a copy immediately.

It kinda became a thing I did. I was a mod of r/goodlongposts for a while, and the rant copy pasta would get caught by the bot a lot, so I’d post the rebuttal. I eventually wrote my own for the koala pasta, then discovered it had already been done. There’s a panda one and a mosquito one as well. I used to have one for wasps, but I seem to have lost the file at some point. Skeeters and wasps were more for those times when they’d come up as beginning being hated in general, as I never saw any copy/pasta regarding them.

But, last time I went to the beach, I actually ran across idiots wanting to charter a damn boat to go throw rocks at the things. Which was stupid on multiple levels. But it shows how bad info can spread, so I always feel justified in pasting in the better info.

Ooooooo, damn! Homie in here looking to fight! Absolutely brilliant unpopular opinion; simple, direct, and easy to discuss.

Aight, I gotta say up front that I am picky about strawberries in general, and it is rare for preserves or jams (I’ve never had a strawberry jelly, but I’m not that kind of asshole to insist that a pb&j can only use jelly) to meet my standards.

I disagree with strawberry anything being better than grape jams or jellies on two standards. First is that food preferences are always subjective, and thus we can only rarely say anything other than “better for me”

The second is essentially subjective as well, as it goes to those preferences that I have.

A pb&j is on my list of perfect sandwiches (again, for me, but I think it would fit such a description in general) because it provides a balance of sweet, savory, salty, acidic and allows nigh infinite variety with fruit flavors. You can have one and need nothing else to satisfy one’s palate.

I think where grape is better than strawberry for those that prefer it is the nature of grape. It is a fairly strong flavor, but also usually simpler in jelly or jam form. The processing of grapes in that way means the potential complexity of flavor grapes can have is subdued. As such, it delivers the balance to the peanut butter in a very accessible way. Remember, we often encounter pb&j sandwiches first in our youth when we haven’t developed our palate as much, and often can’t appreciate more subtle flavours or more complex ones.

Strawberry jams and preserves are almost always more complex in flavor than grape versions (though I’d argue that a good homemade muscadine jelly belies that). They’re also a tad more acidic, and strawberry flavor as it differs from other fruits is bolder as well. So it often stands over the peanut butter, even to the degree of smothering at times.

I believe that’s why, ignoring personal preferences, grape became the default and is “better” than strawberry as a default. I might also argue that apple jelly is better than grape as a default for the same reasons; the varieties of apple used combined with the jelly making process make it an incredible pb&j candidate.

I put way too much thought into sandwich theory. I admit that with joy in my heart lol.

But I have tried essentially every kind of jam and jelly that I’ve run into over the years on a pb&j, as well as adjacent options like apple butter. I maintain that the holy trinity of apple, grape and strawberry should be default. If you open a sandwich stand, one of those three should be what you serve if someone asks for a pb&j without specifying a flavor.

While I prefer apple as my personal default, I think that the hypothetical sandwich shop should likely default to grape as it is the assumption most people make when they ask for one, but I wouldn’t be mad at any of them as default.

Now, because I’m picky, strawberry is my third or fourth choice when I’m wanting one. Apple or grape is going to be what I reach for 80% of the time. Damson plum is roughly tied with strawberry for me, and I can never decide which I prefer.

What is straight out is any fruit like blackberry that has the seeds still in the jam or preserves (by definition, seeds can’t be present in jellies). It just isn’t pleasant to run into those hard bits (as opposed to something crunchy like crunchy pb, or some nice potato chips layered into the sandwich, though that’s not a pure pb&j), so they can fuck right off.

I am otherwise very open to fruits in that regard. Even oddball things like pepper jelly, or watermelon rind preserves are worthy on rare occasions. Watermelon rind preserves, btw, are exactly what you might think. The peeled and cut rind of a watermelon preserved by a combination of citrus (lemon), sugar, and heat. Pectin may be added to adjust the thickness as preferred. It is amazeballs, and can go with damn near anything that can handle the sweetness. If you’ve never had it, find an old southern granny or gramps and die happy after they share a jar with you.

Even things that don’t do well as preserves or jams can be given honorary place on a pb&j sandwich. Bruléed banana as an example. Little pinch of cinnamon, a sprinkle of sugar, bake for maybe ten minutes then brule to caramel. Lay that on the waiting pb&bread, then die happy. It isn’t a proper pb&J, but it’s a spiritual cousin to it.

I have been so happy that on lemmy, the copy pasta hating sunfish gets soundly criticized and rejected as anything resembling reality.

However, I still want to take the opportunity to copy/paste in the rebuttal to that copy pasta an anti-pasto of sorts. A biologist took the time on reddit to write it up, and I have it saved in markor with a few minor edits.

Sunfish

From u/tea_and_biology

Zoologist here; the majority of this is so inaccurate the guy is basically angry at a figment of his own imagination, paha. I mean there’s hyperbole, and then there’s hyperbole. Yikes!

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink.

Sunfish are, in fact, well understood and, though clumsy when idly basking, are reasonably accomplished swimmers when diving. They stroke their dorsal and anal fins laterally and in a synchronous manner to generate a lift-based thrust that enables 'em to cruise at speeds of 2-3mph (source), comparable to a whale shark and the perfect speed for suction feeding; ploughing straight into smacks of jellyfish and gobbling 'em all up.

Where they excel amongst fish is their ability to undergo substantial vertical movement in the water column. They possess large deposits of low-density, subcutaneous, gelatinous tissue which, unlike a swim bladder (which would otherwise change volume with hydrostatic pressure), is incompressible, enabling rapid depth changes and keeping them neutrally and stably buoyant independent of surrounding water pressure.

So, yeah, their unusual bodies are basically one big paddle, capable of putting some force behind their swimming to move over considerable distances, descending very deep, very fast.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive.

Dumb. Also incorrect. Jellyfish and other Cnidarians comprise only around 15% of their diet; they mostly eat young fish (including conger eelets) and crustaceans (pelagic crab, krill, copepods etc.), alongside squid, bivalves and other assorted zooplankton. They’re generalist predators, not jellyfish specialists like sea turtles (source).

They have a particularly rapid growth rate amongst bony fish, owing much to their unique genetics (source).

Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess.

They spend the majority of their time actively hunting in the very cold deep (usually at ~200m, but up to 600m) and, being ectotherms, therefore regulate their temperature by basking in the sun, before pursuing another dive. Think of marine iguanas basking on hot rocks between nibble trips.

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

Sunfish have been kicking about in temperate and tropical waters worldwide for around 50 million years and, until humans arrived on the scene, were overwhelmingly successful in their ecological niche. Sadly they’re under threat by human activity and human activity alone - frequently caught as by-catch; having little commercial value, like sharks, their fins are cut off before they’re dumped, often still alive, back into the sea to die. If one is to start throwing rocks at terrible creatures, perhaps one should look at us humans first.

Or, there’s The visual rebuttal, credit to u/iamnotburgerking

I love that metalhead.club exists as an instance

Hell yeah!

Halford has managed to improve with age in a way most singers don’t. Richer, better controlled voice.

And the rest of the band is so on point (as always imo).