I’m 36 and have been with my current girlfriend for almost 5 years now - my longest relationship yet. We live together & everything else couply, just not married. I see marriage as unnecessary pressure that has a tendency to put strain on the relationship. Right now if we’re happy together we stay, if we’re not we split. Simple. Marriage complicates it.
Okay I agree marriage at a societal level needs some rearchitecture, but I think you’re holding yourself back applying it to an individual. Every couple has a different marriage. My wife and I are definitely backwards, I fully admit she wears the pants. I’m emotional, she’s fairly stoic. Hell I took her to see Taylor Swift. There are definitely no gender roles for us.
However, I see others who want more traditional roles, I see some that are the same, idk everyone is different. If you find the right person it’s more they just complement you well.