I was moving from Alaska to Boston, so I had to pass through Canada. Everything I owned was crammed into my Honda Element and I was driving it solo across North America.

I re-entered the US at a border crossing in North Dakota. I pulled up to the window and without saying anything else the officer pointed at a detached garage and told me to pull into it. As I slowly pulled into the garage, there was only enough light to see the outlines of the walls. When I turned off my car, super bright lights were switched on and I saw 6-8 heavily armed border officers with bulletproof vests on either side of the car. One of them instructed me to get out of the car and give him my keys. He also took my passport and took me into a small room in the garage that had 1-way mirrors (so they could observe me and I couldn’t see out) and then he locked me inside. There was nothing inside the room except a few folding plastic chairs – nothing to read and nothing to look at, nothing aesthetically pleasing at all. I could hear them going through my car, removing my plastic totes full of shit and searching through them. After what was probably 20 minutes, they opened the door, handed me my keys and passport and told me, “You’re free to go, welcome home.”

Bro are you okay?

Yes, dosens of times.

I grew up in eastern europe and things work differently there.

Oftentimes the cops would fish for bribes. Cops would pick you up on the street/stop you in traffic and search you/your car/whatever in hopes of finding something to hook onto and escalate the situation further and put you in a legally difficult situation.

Then they would generously offer that they can make it all go away if somebody from your family comes and brings X amount of money.

This didn’t happen just to me, in most countries of the former eastern block that’s just a fact of life.

My brother, not me, so I don’t know all the details ……

He was buying cars at auction, then fixing them up to sell. He took one on a road trip and got stopped in Ohio because he was profiled (white 300z with blacked out windows) as a drug dealer (and probably speeding). They emptied his car and threw everything on the ground. When they didn’t find anything, they impounded the car and dropped him at a bus station. He had to go back to Ohio a few weeks later to get his car back and found it undrivable because they tore apart the interior and slashed the upholstery.

Never searched other than at airports security check.

But I have been questioned by airport security guards outside the airport.

I was at my favourite photo spot by the airport, it was evening, late summer in Sweden, there had been an gorgeous sunset, with aircrafts landing directly into the sunset.

Anyway, I was almost done and wanted to take a few more photos of the next aircraft coming into land.

The photo spot I was at was outside the fence but among the approach lights, it is a very popular spot to watch aircraft.

Anyway, as I am standing there with my camera on a tripod, waiting for the next plane, I see two small cars with emergency lights comming from opposite ends of the road, stopping by the barrier to stop cars from driving up among the lights, two guards approach me.

And I stand there, overweight, wearing a linnen shirt and linnen shorts, with a camera on a tripod, and before they could say anything, I just asked innocently “Hi, have I done something wrong?”.

They were clearly not really sure and responded in a slightly sheepish tone “We are not really sure…”

I explained that I was just about to take some last photos before heading back to the bus to go home.

There wasn’t much more to say, I packed up my things and walked back to the bus stop.

Second to last time I visited Spain, I was selected randomly for an extra check at the airport as I was traveling home to Sweden, they swabbed my jacket and my backpack, they were perfectly polite and professional.

i just had both sides of my sack and my ass felt up by TSA

even after removing my shoes, my belt, and going through their backscatter machine

and now my wife is mad at me for being vocally unhappy about it to them

I’ve had my car searched before. It was unlawful.

This was over 20 years ago when it happened. I was about 19 at the time and in college. The cop ordered me to sit on the curb while he tore up my car. I was a dude with long hair at the time and when he pulled me over for the tinted windows he said that he, “saw shake in the backseat.”

The shake in the backseat was fiction.

Car got torn up, he said he thought my eyedrops were GHB and that he wanted to test them. I told him that’s fine.

He came back to me after a few minutes and said that his test kit is expired and that he was going to call someone else out to test it.

Second cop comes up, he’s less of a dick than the first guy. Goes to his trunk, fucks around, determines his kit is also expired.

A third cop comes out. Also, less of a dick than the first guy. They test my eyedrops and determine they are eyedrops, not GHB.

First cop resumes tearing up my car.

First cop asks me, “where are you going?”

I tell him I’m on my way to work.

He asks me if I am in school. I replied, “yes, UCF.”

He asks, “what are you studying?”

“I’m a junior in the pre-law track with a minor in criminal justice.”

He then decided he was going to “let me go.”

The whole time this is happening there’s an older dude with long grey hair sitting across the street with a couple of grocery bags watching the whole thing. Cops asked him what he was doing a couple of times and he would tell them he’s watching what’s happening on the walk home from the grocery store. After the cops were gone, and I was doing my best to reassemble my car, he came by to say he was going to be a witness for me in case something went down. He went on to explain how he was a Vietnam vet and when he got back to the states he had been arrested for smoking a joint, and has subsequently hated cops ever since. He then told me his son is a lawyer and if I needed help with this scenario to get in touch.

Awesome guy. He was 100% the shit.

The second and third cop were pretty reasonable for cops.

I hope the first cop ended up getting repeatedly gang raped in a prison.

I was for stuff that is so mundane I don’t feel like typing it all. I was profiled for driving a cheap car at 2am in a nice area. I’m super white in the worst kind of privileged way, like tall, broad shoulders and can easily turn my slight southern accent on and off. I refused to let them search the car on principal alone, so they did a light search of my person. There was an issue with my license that let them do whatever to search me, but I know exactly what to say. By that I mean I know better than to say anything or interfere with a cop. They are not a judge and whatever they do is their own thing.

The cop made up that my tag light was out. I took pics the next day including all of the original DOT markings on the lamp and included a newspaper in the background with the date because that is enough for a court to accept the date in question. I then brought my business license, business cards from two businesses, and a picture of my old shop to show I am a professional auto body painter. I then testified that the vehicle was unaltered from the night before I was pulled over and that it was in full working order as it was originally designed and equipped. The judge dismissed my ticket, told the cop to approach the bench, and for me to leave the courtroom first. I did as instructed. A few minutes later the very pissed off cop came storming out of the courtroom and left immediately. I have no clue what was said or what happened, but it felt good to see it.

Cops can say anything. You must comply with anything they tell you to do, even if it is illegal. Cops are not judges. If they break the law, you must be able to testify precisely how and what they did for the whole incident. They get home field advantage so you have no room for error or questionable conduct. The trick is to know your rights and give them no room to maneuver. Never roll your window all the way down. If you are instructed to exit the vehicle, do so after rolling up the window, removing the key, and locking the door behind you. Never talk or volunteer any information whatsoever. When you’re pulled over, put both hands either on the steering wheel, or better yet, put them palm up at the window like anyone that is carrying a legal concealed weapon is supposed to do. You will be asked about a concealed weapon at which point to tell them what you do or do not have and that you are only doing your best to put them at ease for their safety. When they must start off testimony with that detail, you greatly diminished their home field advantage with a double play out of the gate.