After some months of seemingly being free of anxiety I feel like it has returned in the last few weeks, which sucks. I probably will never be free of it because it seems that I am wired to be prone to anxiety though I can now recognize that I most of the anxious feelings are just inside my head and I am not in actual danger or whatever. Yay for progress, I guess.
Working out helps. I actively rejoined the gym months ago after my running period and some dude told me: ‘well you’ll see the results in around 6 months’, which seemed kinda long at the time. Lo and behold some six months later and here it is: I am seeing the results. Which is nice and motivating.
Gardening also helps in calming it down. I am growing a window sill herb garden and my basil is already coming up. Still waiting for the parsley, pepper, thyme and the lemon balm but they will take some more time. On my balcony I have spinach, chamomile, salad, green onion and chives coming up soon. My native flower set up is doing great to with daffodils blooming and a wild hyacinth coming up, which is sadly rare these days.
Thanks for making it through my rant. It feels good to ventilatie and while I have people to talk to in real life it is nice to write down thing once in a while so that I can visit it at a later time when I feel down.
I understand, I get occasional bouts of it myself, and it’s a recurring thing even when you have seemingly long stretches of optimistic and calm periods. And out of nowhere you end up getting so in your own head that you wonder if it’s possible to actually give yourself a heart attack from sheer stress. Maybe it’s a seasonal thing, perhaps.