What i mean with the title is: Mothers often feel as if they can’t be successful themselves, due to their role as a mother. So, they try to make their child(ren) “successful” in their place. What that entails is a strict, hierarchical upbringing and a lot of “discipline” for the child(ren). As a direct consequence, the child(ren) have significantly reduced Quality Of Life, to the point of many committing suicide, and as such they are definitely a thing that can end lifes, or personal worlds (for the children). As such, they are clearly one of the “horsemen of the apocalypse”.
So far, I’ve found this concept can apply equally to fathers as well, not just mothers. Living vicariously through others isn’t even relegated exclusively to a parent-child relationship, either.
My father ended up a doctor, even though his dream was to become an architect, and it all happened because his father (who was an architect himself) pushed/forced him to study medicine. He then turned to alcohol to manage and cope, and it went very well (/s).
I’ve always been artistically inclined, but my family had no faith in my capacity for creativity. As such, I’ve been dragged through the sciences until I was old enough to decide for myself. It wasn’t just my mother (dad was out of the picture by this time), my maternal grandparents were actually the dominant voices in determining what I did and didn’t study. I don’t regret having studied a multitude of different subjects because I tried to make the best of it, but I do feel that I’ve missed out on some very helpful starter things in terms of creativity. Not to mention the deficit of self-confidence this ultimately generated, having been told repeatedly that my decisions and desires were stupid as I was discovering/developing them.
i feel you way too much
