My daughter is ~2 months shy of being 21. Her boyfriend is 46. For reference, I’m 45. She introduced him to my wife and me about half a year ago. Since then I’ve had to bond with him in order to maintain the great relationship I have with my daughter and also keep an eye out for her. But it’s tough, uncomfortable. It is what it is. As we say here “să fie ea sănătoasă” - as long as she’s healthy (health is the most important thing).
Jesus Christ, what do they even talk about?! Like, I’m not one to judge, but the dude’s old enough to be her dad (heck, even older as you’ve indirectly said!), I have trouble relating to people ten years younger than me…
I can imagine this is deeply uncomfortable. But hang in there, maybe she’s just figuring some things out with herself.
When I was 30 I went on a date with a girl who was 20 (she asked me out). She was very cute, very bright, and pretty mature. I just couldn’t even go on a second date, it was so strange. She was so young, and we didn’t even have any pop culture references in common. It was just weird.
Honestly, of all the things to focus on “we couldn’t talk about twenty year old popular media” is something you might want to spend some introspection time on.
I think you’re assuming a bit too much (or, more specifically, too little) about the difficulties I’ve encountered.
Could say the same to you, given that popular media was your go-to…
Oh, so you just can’t relate to current events, politics, various hobbies, classical art, etc then to the point of having nothing to talk about with someone?
Or just remember what it was like to be ten years younger?
Can’t even watch new shows or whatever together?
Fair enough.
If that’s enough for you, then that’s enough for you. But trying to impose your standards on others is not ok.
Different people have different needs and interests, that should have been obvious by now.
They have a lot of hobbies in common. They’re both very adventurous. Seeing them interact with each other, they talk about anything and everything. He’s very… youthful. I don’t enjoy bonding with him because I have a very laidback and calm personality, while he’s very rowdy and fiery. My daughter bickers with him a lot because of his personality, playfully, of course…
Well, at least it sounds like it’s not a “just for the hell of it” relationship if nothing else. Hopefully, it’s applicable at both ends.