…fuck…that is very hard. This is not your relationship, nor did you cheat, and their problems have now been made yours(ish). I’m sorry you’re caught up in this.

That said, your mom raises some excellent points & personally I’d be inclined to live with her. She is correct. But we must also acknowledge that she is way too close to this situation & is blinded by hurt, rage; women are prone to making decisions based on emotion & not logic, reason. How much more when she is cheated on.

The fact remains, this man is your biological father. Personally, I think it is time to reassess the depth of your relationship due to his adultery. But to cut him out entirely, forever is kind of stupid, too. That is your father. You only get one father. Your relationship to him is different than your mother’s relationship to him. You can distance yourself & react appropriately to his impropriety without…completely destroying the ties of family. It will hurt your father’s feelings, and you know what? I think he should have his feelings hurt. A little. Understand, he threw your mother away, treated her very badly.

But what’s done is done. This is the family you have now, and you have to decide what is right for you. If you don’t leave your father & distance yourself at least a little, she’s right, you do condone his actions & you’re hurting your relationship with your mother. If you care about that. But I would keep those lines open, and your mother will fuss, but explain to her that is your biological father & you have made the decision to keep in contact with him. That is your right, as his child.