Romantic relationships as promoted by society. After dating so many different types of men and always being let down, I’ve decided it’s not worth my time.
And after hearing so many stories of cheating partners doing shady shit, breaking people’s hearts, perpetrating abuse, gambling life savings away, etc., I’ve decided it’s a bunch of BS that either works for very few people, or you need to seriously compromise and overlook a lot of shit with the average person. And I’m so done with that and I’m also frustrated and jaded.
So now when I see a couple all lovey dovey i see them with derision and I start to wonder how long they have until the inevitable breakup or if one of them is doing some shit on the side.
On average, only 14% of those in a couple say they are not very or not at all satisfied with their relationship with their spouse or partner, while 84% say they are somewhat or very satisfied.
And this
The failure rate for first marriage is roughly 48%, 60% for second and 70% for third marriages [source], but at the same time, in 2019 for every 1000 marriages, only 7.6 resulted in divorce, which is the lowest divorce rate in the past 50 years.
So I would not say it is that rare to live happy married life. But it is not like everyone is getting this life. With a hard work I think it is totally possible and is not that rare at all… Although none of those studies give a direct answer on how many happy lifelong relationships there are. One can conclude somewhere between 30-40% of relationships are happy lifelong relationship. And even if this number is lower like 10-20% this is still a very significant number.
When I talk about relationships with my sister she has similar view as you. She can almost never see a truly happy relationship. While I can see it everywhere
It turned out our environments are drastically different. For example she met all of her partners at parties. This is not a general population. While I met my wife in school.
I made most of my friends in school or at work or from being a neighbor (ie owning a house). Most of them are educated and with higher income. If I remember correctly those also have better statistics for relationship success. While my sisters friends are none of that.
I believe it would be wise for you to check if your environment screwed your view too.
Whoa, that’s a very nice reply! Thank you, and thank you for taking it seriously, too. I was being downvoted and I was hoping you hadn’t taken the question the wrong way. I’m glad that’s not the case because I’m genuinely curious.
Ah, I should’ve stated that I’m gay. That’s the biggest factor. It feels like it multiplies all those percentages by a way smaller fraction because the dating pool is a puddle. I honestly don’t see many people that I like who would be interested in a monogamous relationship because I think queer culture in my country has different priorities, so it feels like it raises the stakes and the pressure every time I give a relationship a go with someone who seems compatible. I’ve even changed my views to match the culture, but no luck yet.
And let me just vent this, but my luck has run so ridiculously bad that even the guy who bragged about having had three different 5-year relationships and got me starry-eyed left out that his last one had been abusive for years and tried that shit on me too. These things tend to linger in my mind, y’know? It’s rough out there.
I down vote stuff for many reasons. In your case it was disagreeing with your view. This next reply I upvoted because I liked your nice response.
I can see only having gay dating pool could screw that statistics by a lot. I admit I do not know a lot about gay community. While I know the (not sure how real) stereotype about way more common one night relationships. I still think this still varies a lot depending on whre you are searching.
Homosexuals I know (in my environment) are all in a very long relationships. My gay neighbors have been married for 10+ years. My gay schoolmate has been in a relationship for a few years and I have no doubt they will eventually marry and live a very happy life.
While I can imagine those percentage being lower in gay community I still believe they are quite significant. Maybe you just have to search in a different environment.
I’m in a similar boat on the opposite side of the aisle.
Oh, interesting, how do you mean?
Other than the usual ACAB and distrust of government.
Probably parents.
I used to think they actually looked out for my interests.
Now I know the harsh reality is that:
No one, not your parents, not your siblings, not even your “best” friends, literally no one will care about you. Its every person for themselvesAaron Rogers.
Airbnb. I used to think they were a perfect business. Saw a gap in the market, created a decent product, invested in their users (back in the day they would even send a photographer to take good photos of your property).
Unfortunately the consequences turned out to be awful.AirBnB is almost directly responsible for the surge of housing prices in my local town, and they should die in a fire.
🌈.°`E N S H I T I F I C A T I O N’°. 🌈
Yeah, I’m pretty torn. In my small community (on an island), housing and rent are insanely expensive, and also pretty scarce. There are people who have full time jobs living in tents in the woods or in their cars (in Alaska) not because they can’t afford a place to stay, but because there are no places to rent.
It’s also a major tourist spot, and the population more than doubles regularly on days during the summer, and for those that fly in, the hotels book up quick. So there’s a huge AirBnB market. Which means houses are getting bought up and then set up as AirBnBs instead of renting to residents, so housing becomes even more scarce. So I hate AirBnB.
But… I just bought a 4 bedroom house, where one of the beds is in a built in 1-bedroom apartment, with its own kitchen and everything. We wanted a 4bedroom house so we could have a guest room for people visiting, as well as just have extra space for us. Well, once I retire, one of our plans is to rent that out as an AirBnB during the times we don’t have guests staying. It doesn’t deplete housing in the area (we wouldn’t be renting it out anyway), and it helps pay our ridiculous mortgage.
So I hate it… but if it’s used properly/ethically, I feel like it could be pretty good.
This is actually I think how Airbnb was originally supposed to work… You rent out a room or an in law suite that you aren’t otherwise using. Or maybe your condo in a resort town when you’re not there. Unfortunately became so lucrative that you can make more money doing that than renting. I stayed in one in a ski town recently that was clearly at least two separate apartments before and had all been combined to house large groups. Felt kinda crappy about that, and it goes to show how it eats up the housing stock
AirBNB would work better if the owner was required to live in the property 160 days out of the year. Where it went wrong was in letting corporations buy up housing and use it to skirt hotel taxes and regulation.
Christianity and the Democratic Party.
When did any religion deserve respect?
Sure, respect the person (to a point), but not the belief in fairytales
Same goes for any superstitious woo
Things are different when you’re raised in it.
That’s a funny way of saying indoctrinated.
Indoctrination is fucked
If people waited until kids were actually capable of reasoned thought before bringing up the idea of religion, it’d die out within a generation
Yup.
Whether you agree with religion or not, religious groups do a lot of good in the world on a daily basis.
And religious groups and individuals also do a whole lot of destructive, demented and fucked up acts of evil.
So do non religious people. Pretty easy to see the common denominator wouldn’t you say?
My point was not to say that non religious people are all saints, but to balance out your previous point where you praised religion without nuance.
Of course the common denominator is people. And it’s pretty easy to see how religion is a powerful tool for these people to do evil, wouldn’t you say?
I think you’re not taking into account its hierarchical nature founded on unquestioning obedience, and the unearned & inherent facade of trust it has for some people. These tools aren’t available for the non-religious which is very enabling if your goal is to exploit. And exploit they have.
I think your not taking into account the hundreds of religions there are in the world, and making blanket statements about “all religious people” is at best ignorant.
I want to specify that I’m taking about all the dominant religions in the West with known charities like the Salvation Army. I don’t particularly know or care about the Hare Krishna who gather downtown once a year offering free food with an ulterior motive and practically no noticeable social impact for anyone other than themselves, for example.
I don’t think I could talk about all religions in the world, but I can safely talk about major trends and commonalities. That does not make me ignorant.
Sure, but religion arguably does just as bad if not worse in all kinds of areas.
It touches on everything from the warped understanding of the world, to superficial gestures of kindness for loyalty in return, to substituting health care with dangerous consequences, to giving criminals a clear conscience, it promotes hateful group thinking, subjects their followers to paths of radicalization or extremism, it both promotes & is used as a tool for suppression and subjugation of others, etc, etc. Yes, religion can do good, but the underbelly is hideous.
The underbelly of human institutions are generally hideous. This does not change the fact that religious groups do good in the world daily, and that work wouldn’t be done otherwise if we simply removed religion all together.
Well, how about we flip it: why are secular organizations not recognized for the work they do? I mean, why are religious institutions getting all the credit as if they were inherently more virtuous?
The only advantage religion has is its active community that propels initiatives as part of a grand ideal. I don’t think the actual work would go undone if the project had already been established from the overwhelming support of an existing secular community. Helping others is, after all, human nature.
Numerous secular organizations get credit for the work they do. Religious isn’t more virtuous.
Go cry about your feelings elsewhere
Yeah, after they established a reputation and many years of hard work. Religious orgs don’t need to do all that. They show a spiritual symbol and everybody assumes they’re doing the Lord’s work.
Go cry about your feelings elsewhere
I think you got emotional and started projecting. But don’t get confused now and start breaking rule 1.
They do good despite their superstition, not because of it
They’d be just as capable of doing good things without their invisible sky-daddy
Religious groups also do horrific things every day.
Religion is used to justify the worst things
People will always find a way to excuse their shitty behaviour, but religion gets something of a free pass because too many people want their cosmic insurance policy, so they forgive the evils of religion
How do you know any of them would do any of the good things they do without religion guiding them?
Non religious groups do horrific things every day.
Numerous things are used to justify atrocities including our global economic structures, education systems, etc.
No matter what people will do horrendous things and justify them however they see fit. Religious people do good and evil because of their faith and they are no different than anyone else doing those things for their own reasons.
they are no different than anyone else doing those things for their own reasons
They are absolutely different, because in some major religions, devotion is rewarded or promised heavily in the afterlife, which creates a great incentive. These people are more likely to become radicalized or extremists, often going out of their way to impose their worldview on others through harassment, aggression, or influence. I’ll point to Mother Theresa, who inflicted so much pain on others when she thought she was doing good, often withholding pain medicine and other treatments. She said suffering is what God intended, and so she did… unto others.
You can respond to my whole comment if you wish for me to respond to you. You didn’t even quote the whole sentence.
Religious people do good and evil because of their faith and they are no different than anyone else doing those things for their own reasons.
They are absolutely different, because in some major religions, devotion is rewarded or promised heavily in the afterlife, which creates a great incentive. These people are more likely to become radicalized or extremists, often going out of their way to impose their worldview on others through harassment, aggression, or influence. I’ll point to Mother Theresa, who inflicted so much pain on others when she thought she was doing good, often withholding pain medicine and other treatments. She said suffering is what God intended, and so she did… unto others.
There you go. You’re more preoccupied with ceremony than substance because your substance has run thin.
They’re dumber, because they believe in the patently absurd
That’s the difference
You refuse to see the similarities and that is your problem. Stay bigoted friend.
Bigotry is hating someone for an aspect of themselves that they can’t change, like their sexuality, their skin colour, where they were born etc.
Religion is a choice
I don’t hate religious people
But I refuse to respect their beliefs any more than I do a flat-earther, or anti-vaxxer
The Sikh do yes, I don’t trust the rest of the religious “good works” one bit. i read your argument here now and then but I don’t believe it.
Institutions. Courts. Media. Religion. Law Enforcement. Politicians.
The institutions are captured. The courts, media, and politicians are corrupt. Bought and paid for. Law Enforcement are just class traitors. The enforcement arm of Capital. Protecting the interests of the ruling class and taking a bludgeon to the people. Religion is a tool of control. Used to control the ignorant and guide their ire.
Ironically this take is entirely self-validating, since this is the primary mechanism for that degradation.
Idk I’m starting to think dystopia began when we figured out agriculture
When aristocracy discovered mercantilism and mutilated it into capitalism.
Most life eats other life to live. It’s been a bad time from the very beginning.
Religion
Nintendo.
Things got worse once Bowser got ahold of the American castle.
The fun dissolved with Iwata and Reggie gone.
The line to far for me was their retroactive bs patents used to attack Palworld. It’s one thing to be strict on your own systems, but another to do it to others. 80s Nintendo is back and possibly worse than before.
It wasn’t Bowser, it was the finance guys that were placed at the head of the company after Satoru Iwata’s death.
I haven’t played with a switch very much but I think the joysticks are worse than what they made for GameCube. I am under the impression that switch has what amounts to a directional pad underneath a joystick. Like that Gameboy peripheral with the lights, magnifier, and joystick that clips over the D pad. The joystick is there on the switch but output is only an analog 8 directions.
Pardon me if I’m wrong here but what I see with Nintendo is them making bad hardware. I know it’s made for kids but even they deserve better. The switch version of any big AAA game that got a switch port is generally really really dumbed down and looks and runs like garbage. I can’t wait to hear about Cyberpunk 2077 looking and running like garbage again. 5 years after it came out.
The joy cons are legitimately awful to use. The buttons are like needles after a while and the sticks just feel weird on my thumbs. What’s weird is that the switch lite fixed both of those problems. (None of this is about drift lol which is awful and another problem)
None of this is about switch 2. Idk anything about it.
The video game industry. (Indie games are on fire lately, though.)
I am screaming at this sentence both internally and externally.
AA is where it’s at now. There’s still insanely good games coming out, there just not by companies like EA and Activision anymore.
In some ways I think the good development studios are the same size they’ve always been, it’s just that a new class of mainstream games has risen to profit on the masses. If you ignore those, it’s not so bad. At least not until one of the AAA publishers gets their hands on them to ruin the IP and layoff the original devs
A lot of AA studios have been cramming in a ton of microtransactions still, whereas indie is mostly devoid of it, but it definitely gets a lot better the more A’s you remove.
Humanity.
Hey, I was a fucking kid, OK. I eventually learned.
Apple, and a number of the other big tech companies as well. Shit used to be easy to use, repair, customize to your liking, etc.
Now they don’t want you to be able to fix a damn thing, plus all too many services and features and stuff have gone to the subscription model.
Fuck all with that, give us our stuff back and let us just use what we paid for.
Right To Repair!
I’m gonna say Tim Cook.
The way he signaled his authority was by sending out an email to the entire company announcing that he was expanding the company’s match program for employees who wanted part of their paycheck to go to NGOs. I thought that was a classy way of saying, “I’m in charge.” I had a lot of respect for that.
But his leadership with the App Store and regulators has been abysmal. He led Apple to make all the wrong moves, ensuring a (now active) fight with regulators instead of just making some small concessions voluntarily. It was completely unnecessary, but he just couldn’t help feeling entitled for Apple to do whatever it wants to make money. I still believe there are people in leadership positions who would choose to do the right thing, but the buck stops with Cook.
Apple might be worthy of my respect again when he’s gone.
Apple have always done what they wanted. In the Jobs era the biggest Apple Store in the world was on Regents Street in London, and Apple paid the local council vast fines each month because Jobs decided that the required illuminated fire exit signs would have ruined the carefully designed interior.
You have to go back like 30 years to get to a pro-repair Apple
More or less yeah. Though back around 2013 or so, I was somewhat pleasantly surprised by how they designed their Mac AIO desktops, they actually were somewhat repair tech friendly.
The front glass was magnetically attached, so it only took a suction cup or two to start disassembly, and basic screwdrivers to remove the screen and get access to the motherboard, hard drive, RAM, DVD drive, etc.
And yes you could replace or upgrade parts as necessary, none of this newer soldered on storage shit they do these days.
I’ve lost a lot of respect for companies that solder on important parts that should rightfully be fairly easy to replace or upgrade.
Plus, now the big companies have taken to forcing encryption on the storage devices, effectively locking the drive to the system. Well isn’t that just cute for the backup operator that’s trying to recover your late grandmother’s family photos…
The original iMac G5 was designed to be repairable by the customer. You could even call Apple support and do free part exchanges under warranty.
Yeah it’s pretty bleak, although there have been some moves towards right to repair in recent years.
Respecting companies is always a bit fraught though. Even the ones you like are only doing it to profit off of your niche. It’s thanks to us that they even have a profitable niche to serve
Google. Do no evil
Neil Gaiman. He poisoned so much…
Hu? Oh No, do I want to know?
Predator.
:( - I’m super sorry for the women. Thanks
In 1994 Neil was at a signing at my university campus. It was a big to-do. My friend, a big fan, came for a signing and whispered a few words.
Suddenly Neil is vaulting the table trying to choke the living shit out of my friend. Friend’s backpedaling, eyes wide, Gaimancs face a rictus of rage and fury, and the many people jump in and slow it down
Friendo booted, things fall down, minimal mention in the uni rag. Never learned what was said, but now I suspect it was a pretty badly-kept secret for a long time.
You friend didn’t tell you about what was said?
Google. It was once a good search engine. Now I find myself getting only the most irrelevant results based on my keywords and more often than not an advanced search turns up nothing of value
It went downhill when they got rid of search within results, I don’t know why they did that
Me neither! Really frustrates me when companies remove good features for no apparent reason
They had a reason; money. It’s always about money. The worse the results, the more time you have to spend searching for what you want, the more revenue they can generate.
You can usually trace all decisions a company makes, good or bad, back to money.
Corey Doctorow’s podcast Understood: Who broke the internet? does an amazing job of explaining this. It’s only like 5 episodes and worth everyone’s time.
Police
Cops (1989) ruined america, taught us to trust these ass holes and they royally fucked us over.
Not making light of everything before 1989, but even after all that shit, the show painted them in a decent enough light to where people spill their guts and trust them, just because they have a uniform and they took full advantage of us.
Police propaganda goes way back before Cops (1989). Dragnet started in 1951 and inspired dozens of police procedurals that made cops look like street smart scientists who studied at the intersection of crime and humanity. In reality they are just a disappointment. ACAB
I wasn’t alive during that, but I remember the cop propaganda from the 90s well.
