Update: Thank you for all your kind words. I am now crying in my car reading your comments in my work’s garage. My shift starts soon. I am going to dry my face first and think about resignation.
I feel so awful. I have multiple panic attacks. I want to cry. My body feels like it is not mine. I want to quit but my legs are like noodles. I can’t even get up.
I know it is all in my head (perhaps) but I really think people don’t trust me anymore. I don’t trust myself too.
Please don’t send me any self harm alert. I am not thinking about that. I just want to vent.
If your complaints are rational and reasonable (I trust you that they are), and you’ve already decided to quit, I recommend a different course of action. At work, start being the rational/reasonable one. If they make unreasonable demands, call out that it is unreasonable. Don’t raise your voice. Don’t get violent in any way. Only do the reasonable amount and push back when they ask for the more unreasonable thing. If part of the unreasonableness is the hours, only work reasonable hours. If they contact you after hours, don’t respond off hours, and the next day let them know that you aren’t available to them after hours. The worst thing they can do is fire you…and you already decided to end your employment there when you decided to quit. If you are overworked, then things will start to go undone (because you did them before). That’s your boss’s problem, not yours.
If you go down this path, change your finances assuming you’ve already been fired. Cancel any possible unnecessary expenses (like streaming services, etc). Pretend like you know a paycheck isn’t coming and build up a savings to buffer the time between possibly getting let go and the start of your next job.
There is an outside chance that your boss might be the one replaced if the organization is mostly okay, and its only your boss that is bad. If nothing else, you’ll get a few more weeks of pay, and the self confidence of finally being yourself at work.
Thank you for your kind words. My eyes are literally well up.