I’m gay. I’m agender, and I like enbies better than men and women.
The other day in an argument I got frustrated with someone and told them to call me a homophobic slur. One part sarcasm, one part hoping they’d actually do it and get in trouble. Instead, I got punished for using the word. I wasn’t expecting that, because I’m gay. If I call myself a f-----, I didn’t think that was anyone else’s problem.
Was I right? Is it okay for me to use that word, talking about myself?
I don’t have an answer for you but as a straight woman I’m always really taken aback by “the other F word” I’ve defended many of my gay friends from this slur after they told me they were uncomfortable or simply confronted people about using it in my presence and while I also get the “taking back your power angle” I think it’s more a thing you should do with friends you know well enough to know they’re ok with it because lots of people do find it offensive and I know straight allies like myself will absolutely not be comfortable with it, even if I just assume you’re a self hating gay or an edgelord because I’ve spent a lot of energy over the years fighting that word
Just my 2¢