I’m a momma and I was planning on driving my son down to the beach with some family/friends. I haven’t worn a bikini since my younger days since I’m super busy nowadays as a single mom working 2 jobs. As I was trying on some of my older bikinis, I couldn’t help but wonder how my younger self was confident enough to be this exposed. I’m not insecure about my body or anything, actually I’m pretty confident since I go to the gym often, so genuinely how do other women have the confidence to rock a bikini?
I just read your other post, which was deleted. The one with the photos. Here is my response to that one:
I have to say, i thought this was a bot account. I then read your history.
My advice would be to delete the photo, so you’re not leaving a personally identifiable trail online.
My short answer to your question, as I am low on time, is you are just fine. More than that, and must be feeling a bit low, to feel like asking.
My longer answer would revolve around self worth, not requiring other’s approval, etc
I think you’ve got this. I hope you have a great time, with whatever is coming up!
IMHO it’s really all about you being worried about how others react. Speaking as a 50 year old guy, I would walk around naked if it was normal in society. Put the bikini on and stand in front of a mirror. Make sure you’re confident that it looks normal (no tags still showing, nothing that is too revealing or pinching in the wrong spot or whatever… then put it on and go out in public and don’t think about it. It’ll be fine and nobody will think twice about it other than maybe saying “damn she’s keeping herself in shape!”
It’ll be fine. Don’t let others get in your head so much that it determines what you’re going to do or wear.
Ehm, not the same… but I think that how everybody is dressed affects how we perseive our nakedness. Once i went in a trip to Brazil, and felt a little ridicule by how long my swimming shorts were. I ended up buying a swimsuit there… that I can obly wear if i ever go back to Brazil.
It does feel like going out in underwear, to a place where everyone is in underwear, and the people wearing full clothing look out of place. I don’t even have a perfect body but grew up near the beach, saw every possible body type in swimwear. So I am comfortable enough looking near naked in public, since everyone is. It’s nice.
cognitive dissonance
In this picture see people wearing just what they need, what their culture and friends say they should wear, and what they think their Invisible Friend whats them to wear.
And the version of that meme is also censored of course.
sorry i tried to find this meme, but after 15 minutes i gave up trying to find a higher-quality one, and settled for this one.
The same way that pigs are food and dogs are not. Cognitive dissonance.
what the fuck. HOW DARE YOU. Ive been eating dogs my whole life and they are beautiful creatures and we give them a good life on our family farm. We never waste anything and even drink their blood. Implying that its wrong to eat dogs goes against human nature. We have literally been hunting and eating dogs for hundreds of thousands of years and you could seriously mess up your health by not eating them.
As long you give them a good life before you murder them and eat them, that changes everything.
I can’t speak from a women’s perspective, but wearing swimming trunks in public feels very different than wearing boxer shorts in public.
Honestly I can’t feel the difference between swimming shorts and normal shorts, maybe except those nets inside
Boxers reveal a bulge and that is a no-no
This is especially the case if you don’t wear underwear with your short
Why is a bulge showing a no-no?
I can’t contribute much except that I’ve asked myself this question many times. I guess some underwear is see-through but other than that it’s kind of the same attire.
I’ve never in my life been comfortable with anyone seeing me on a bikini, no matter how good I feel about my body. The “difference” between that and underwear or virtual nudity never permeated my brain 😂
Basically I think it’s weird that they’re treated so culturally different and don’t feel comfortable in them myself, but also support the choice of whatever bathing suits people prefer or nudity in designated areas
People are right in saying it’s context and consent, and it’s not completely gendered. Men’s swimsuits are basically just boxer shorts. Normally I’m not self-conscious about that, but a few months ago I signed up for a toddler swimming class with my son where I wound up being the only Dad, and suddenly I felt a bit exposed. I think the normalcy of walking around in nothing but a small pair of shorts kinda evaporated once I was the only man in the room.
Yeah, and if you get out of the water and have a “flattering” outline in your shorts, its suddenly becomes a much larger issue being the only adult male, and with children around… eesh.
Well, I wasn’t even thinking about that, but now I’ve got a whole new thing to be self-conscious about.
Speedo under the trunks should help I would think.
Don’t be self conscious, be self aware .
If your wedding tackle has shifted at all during your swim, may be try to get out away from the others a bit, not a creepy amount, but like… Be on one end of the group, turn away slightly when transitioning from water to land, place your hands “casually” in a way to cover yourself without drawing attention, all sorts of little tricks you’ll internalize before you know it, but it starts with being self aware.
Do what makes you comfortable.
You’ll be out with family and friends, in an environment where most any swimsuit would be expected. Any lack of confidence would come from your own internal comfort, so you do you.
As a more practical suggestion if you’re on the fence, wear a wrap? Then you can decide how you feel in the moment.
It’s not just Bikinis. It’s all swim wear, saunas in Europe, baths in Japan. It’s just socially acceptable and expected in the right context, and that expectation plays a huge role in comfort. The context seems to flip a switch in people’s brain.
It’s definitely a part of socialization. When I went to an all nude Chinese spa I was intensely uncomfortable and decided to wear shorts. I figured they were all gonna stare at me either way so I might as well not have to think about my dick.
I wouldnt go out with my underwear in the garden.
But going with my bath shorts is totally fair game to my mind.I would even hesitate dipping into the beach with my underwear even if it was with my mother/father.
It’s somehow weird to me. Even if it’s totally irrational.You are literally exposing yourself. And if you aren’t cognizant of that then you are either numb or acclimated.L
And these smug commenters are like people raised on a farm wondering why you might physically gag if you’ve never seen an animal butchered in person before. It’s only natural.
Imagine hating your own body this much
I don’t. People just misunderstood my comment. Your skin is literally exposed.
You can think one way and your body can still react another is what I was trying to say. And that it isn’t necessarily prudish to be uncomfortable with nudity if you’re not used to it.
You get used to it, especially when nobody cares. Walking into a corner shop in nothing but shorts is pretty Sus in a city in winter, but if it’s a hot summer day and the corner shop is near the beach, it’s fine.
Yep. Nobody cares. Having been to nude beaches, nobody really cares.
The small fraction of people who do judge are reflecting their own insecurities.
There’s a restaurant at the end of the pier where I grew up that always has a sign that says “no shirt, no shoes, no problem”
