Im male born, but i dont feel particularly “male” so to speak: currently im non-binary bc i dont feel i belong to gender categories. Its just like im mentally in a gender-limbo and i think ive been in it my whole life, but its not concrete, as in sometimes i wish i was a girl (this happened also when i was a kid) but at the same time i feel like the categories of binary gender arent fit for me. Im just confused as in what i am. From the outside i think im generally seen as male but inside it’s kinda like i don’t care but i don’t like to be in the gender binary but i wish i was more “girly”. Can anyone relate?
If it helps, both I and a close friend feel like gender is one of those social concepts that them and I just don’t fully grasp due to our autism. That’s not to say it’s not valid for autists to strongly identify as a specific gender, binary, nonbinary, cis or trans! But i definitely don’t feel like I have a gender at all. I do enjoy to be androgynous though. I can only encourage you to try a more fem look when and if it’s safe and see how you feel! Maybe even just at home at first.