my bf of almost three months (we’ve been friends for about a year or two) is always feeling stressed, depressed, or empty. i want to help him, so im just there with him and remind him that i’m there even when he doesn’t feel like talking or we don’t have much to say.
due to his feelings, he also doesn’t know what he wants, and while he loves me, he doesn’t know if he wants to talk to me and be around me or not. it makes me really sad, he’s also had a bad childhood. i wanna be there for him but he also doesn’t know what he wants and i feel sad thinking about and worrying about how sad he is.
he’s been reading my messages and not replying or being offline more than usual.
I’ve been there (both sides) and I’ve meant for a while to write up a post on the subject, but “being there” only goes so far. If neither of you are actively improving as individuals, things get boring and look bad. You (both) need hobbies to develop your character and feel good about yourselves, and to be impressed by the improvement in one another. This is a self fulfilling, positive loop.
If you have money, one thing that I’ve seen is going to the gym together (if you have a lot of money, get a personal trainer). Other things like rock climbing, hiking, or setting a goal to get a new job allows you to improve and motivate each other with your progress. It keeps you focused on something (other than depression) and helps you turn everything around.
he says his hobbies are only helping a bit, my hobbies (like drawing or reading) distract me
Are those hobbies helping develop your character? If both of you keep these hobbies up for a year, where will you be?
well, i’ll be a lot more fluent in norwegian and a lot better artist. he’ll be a better gamer than he already is due to practice