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My only strong opinion on the whole chart is that crinkle cut fries are the worst thing shown and thus take last place no matter what
Best to worst: 8, 7, 4, 2, 6, 1, 3, 5
Sweet potato in general is just terrible.
Seasoned fries for robbed
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Tater tot: A good tater tot is like butter. Pure salt and crunch then melt in your mouth deliciousness.
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Onion Rings: Good onion rings is technically better than tater tots, but the spectrum of bad to good onion rings is very wide.
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Curly Fries: Curly Fries are hard to fuck up. I don’t even think I’ve had a variation of curly fries. They’re all the same to me, but they’re so good.
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Wedges: Wedges have a smaller spectrum than onion rings, but the ceiling is lower and they’re hard to rank better than the ones ahead of them.
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Shoestring: McDonalds
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ZigZag: These can range from heavenly to straight fucking trash. Unfortunately they’re too easy to turn into straight fucking trash. By that I mean you have to put more work into them to make them good as opposed to just salt and oven/fried. Might as well just try to fry some snow at that point.
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Sweet Potato: I’ve had good sweet potato fries but I rarely get good sweet potato fries.
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Waffle: I don’t get these. They’re ass. The only place that makes them kinda tolerable is Chik-Fila, but even then they’re still ass to me. Can’t even make them good at home without drowning them in salt and ketchup. I can slice up a potato and chuck them in the oven and get better results most of the time.
Edit for formatting. Apparently piefed, doesn’t honor your numbering and turns it into 1, 2, 3, etc even if you go 8, 12, 3.
I nearly dismissed your review until you qualified your assessment of onion rings. I have transposed the order on those first two myself
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I’m not too fussy about my deep fried treats. They’re all no. 1 in my book. Except sweet potato, they can fuck off. They taste fine, but why are they always soggy?
You haven’t had good ones then, because a well cooked sweet tater fry that is crispy on the outside and soft in the middle is the best.
I clearly haven’t, but I’d like to.
Zigzag
Uh, it’s crinkle cut and someone will die on my hill.
Our hill.
8,7,3,1,5,2,4,6
i do love sweet potato, but quite often it seems they dont fit.
6 is so low on the list, because I genuinely never had good ones. If someone serves crinkle-cut fries, they are always the most bland, soggy, frozen industrial ones they can find.
Similar goes for 2 and 4, although they usually dont taste as bland, they seem to have some seasoning on them.
list is missing Fried Tofu
since we’re apparently just including any random fuckin food you can fry
When cooked well enough, I’d say 1 2 4 5 8 3 6 7.
Ain’t no way I’d ever put wedges higher or shoelace lower. Those are always gonna be constant.
5 - 8 - 4 - 2 - 1 - 3 - 7 - 6
I’m really not a big white potato fan but sweet potatoes and onions are delicious
This is exactly what I thought as going to answer. Fuckin LOVE sweet potatoes and onions
Doesn’t matter witch, if its done incorrectly its complete garbage.
Done right, each one, extremely delicious… except maybe sweet potatoe
Zig zag/crinkle cut goes to the back and I think waffle deserves the #1 spot personally. I agree with the rest of the ordering otherwise.
Most of these are good, just for different things. I want waffle fries at the bar; I want shoestring fries at the burger place; I want wedges at the cafe on the corner.
Except the zigzags. I don’t think I’ve ever had a good zigzag.
Why not #9?
I assumed because the category was “things that aren’t actually real chips / potato fries” - by being real pieces of fried potato these are disqualified 😅
They are delicious
Straight out of the fryer
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If it’s been on the plate for 10m
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