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I just need like 500 business cards with this on it.
And if you have asthma, don’t worry, just take a deep breath :)
Not depression, but …
I have a friend with a bit of “resting bitch face”. Someone screamed at her from across the street to “smile and be happy, it’s a great day!”
She was like, I was happy …
that’s just sexism. no one tells men to be happy when they walk around looking like someone shat in their cereal
I am a man. I also have resting b1tch face. I get told to “smile” or “cheer up” on a weekly basis
Then they’re hitting on you. They want to see that pretty smile of yours.
Or at least checking to see if enough of their teeth are there.
by whom, strangers?
Yes
Uh not correct. Tall angry looking dudes get told all the time to ‘smile’.
Of course, it’s also aimed at women for sexist reason, I got told to smile so many times as an angry looking dude. Then I’m walking around with my daughter and this full on 30 something grown ass adult man tells her to smile. I could have rage fisted him into the fucking sun at midnight, The pure burning hate that flooded my viens at that moment decreased my life span by 3 years. I could have poured it down his entire being. Instead I told him she’ll do whatever she wants with her face, and he can fuck off.
by strangers?
I wouldn’t bet on that, you’d be wrong.
sure
Elderly old man with a resting bitch face here. People don’t say ‘cheer up’ to me, but have frequently asked my wife why I’m so angry.
In the closet transfem person but as far as everyone is aware I look like a male to people
I’ve been told to cheer up by a male person in public once so it can happen
I’d rather have a right hook to the face, thanks
My brother, who never had a struggle in his life, came up with the solution to all mental health problems. “You should get a different mindset”. He should get a Nobel price. We can scrap psychology. We just need to get a different mindset. Autism? Mindset. PTSD? Mindset. Depression? Mindset. Personality disorder? Mindset! Boom! I’m cured! I’ve had years of useless therapy, had over 20 therapists, but my brother is a genius and knows how to fix it in an instant. *longest and deepest sigh possible.
A big issue we have in society is that we’re not allowed to feel bad. Whenever someone feels bad in any way, people are panicking and trying to fix it, make someone happy. Accepting someone feels bad and allowing the sadness to be there already helps a lot. Sadness needs to be there too and needs time to process. Cramping it away because everyone needs to be happy all the time only makes everything worse.
Tell him he’s technically not wrong, but mindet surgery does not exists and it takes endless effort, time and help to change.
Yeah, it’s the same argument as “when your arm is amputated, why not just grow it back?”. I mean, sure, that’s a great option if you don’t want to live without an arm, just an option we don’t have with the current tech.
Just splice in some newt DNA
Right up there with the people who ignore me, leave me alone or exclude me when I’m down. I’m depressed because I’m being excluded and feel isolated, jackasses.
“Just show up and do the thing, you’re always welcome!” (Ever tried just showing up when you’ve been removed from being told where the weekly thing even is and no one answers when asked?)
The amount of oblivious hypocrisy I’ve run into while navigating the deep blue is astounding.
Be sure to lecture mentally ill people about how they don’t need that medication and shouldn’t be taking it as well.
If someone is fighting depression and builds up the courage to reach out to you be sure to say “aren’t we all” then provide zero support. This will make then feel like they aren’t struggling alone.
Likely to be an unpopular comment, but a lot of people use this mindset to avoid practicing making the subtle but consistent changes in their thought patterns that they would need to to break out of and away from depression-causing thought patterns.
“You should start incorporating small gratitude practices into your daily life to eventually train your brain to focus on less negative aspects of the world”
=/=
“Can’t you just cheer up.”
I guess the better way to phrase it to normies is that this is definitely not a change that happens overnight. It can take years even.
If you are suffering from clinical depression and try to change your thought patterns in some consistent way, you’re probably going to fail. That’s why there are things like therapy and medication to help depressed people. Most people can’t self-help their way out of actual depression.
Remember, depression is different from unhappiness.
…what do you think therapy is? Especially cognitive-behavioral therapy. Like. I’ve been to over 300 hours of professional therapy and have been working in mental health for 3 years with a license and 8 total. It’s not quick or easy, but restructuring your thought processes over time is 100% necessary to overcome depression.
Medication can help and is often even necessary for the patient to have the drive and energy to make those changes, but if you’re even just relying on medication alone without changing any of your lifestyle habits, you’re at the very least just not going to see any sustainable results. Medications don’t fix you; they give you back the power to fix yourself. Recovery isn’t free and if you’re not willing to put in the work you’re not going to get better. It’s not your fault, but you’re still the only one that can fix it.
That said, people who find cognitive-behavioral therapy invalidating often report much better results with dialectal behavior therapy due to the inclusion of zen buddhism concepts.
If you’ve been in so much therapy and work in mental health, why are you suggesting people try to solve this problem on their own?
Where did I ever say that? I literally just said they’re resistant to changing their thought patterns because of this exact mindset and the number 1 place they’re going to have that mindset challenged its in a therapy office. The reason I know this is how people often respond to professionals is because I’ve had to learn a bunch of workarounds to help people be more open to discussing it (like I said above). Even the resource I’ve been working on for people struggling to afford therapy leads with trying to help them find a therapist leads with resources to try to help them find one. But when you get in that room with that therapist, they’re going to try to get you to change your thought patterns, and if you react like you are now, you’re going to waste your copay.
To be perfectly honest it seems like I hit a sore spot and you subconsciously chose to read it in the way that offended you most because like most of my patients your thought patterns are more focused on preserving themselves than they are on helping you, and you’re not ready to admit that. Which is what it is, recovery doesn’t happen until you’re ready.
That’s definitely true, but I think the problem ends up being that when you’re in the hole of depression, that kind of interpretation is against your current thought pattern. People say the latter as shorthand for the former, but when depressed that shorthand breaks down because the stupid fucking depression gets in the way and just says “yeah, but you can’t cheer up no matter what, because you’re depressed.”
It’s ridiculous cyclical logic, but it seems perfectly fine unless directly contradicting by someone else being very blunt (like with the more detailed example you gave)
😊 It does help to have been working in psychiatry for almost a decade, but even then I still struggle with it myself.
“it could be worse”
Like yeah mother fucker I’m trying to prevent that exact thing
This Tweet (and all of its derivatives) is exactly the same level of not helpful.
Yeah, I hate seeing my feelings validated and knowing I’m not alone. ;)
That sets the bar quite high. A single tweet is not going to help in any substantial way, but it might be relatable.
Are you saying don’t let perfect be the enemy of good? Because that would be a good tweet.
What isn’t helpful about it, to you?
Even if ‘cheer up’ may be what some people need, the point of the tweet is it’s un-empathetic to say this.
It’s the passive-aggressiveness of the tweet. Being bitter and sarcastic won’t make anyone’s day better either.
Make sure they know a daily walk could cure them, so they don’t have to bother with a doctor. (I’m being facetious, seeking medical help is the first step to knowing and treating, depression can be a symptom of many medical, treatable, issues)
That sucks
It’s really a health thing in general. If someone tells you they’re struggling with an illness, they almost certainly do not want you to be an armchair doctor. They’re almost certainly telling it to you for a reason other than getting medical advice from you unless they specifically ask for it.
Not only do some people not take no for an answer, some people actually get incredibly irate about it. I had someone here on Lemmy literally start harassing me in different communities and repeatedly in PM because their so-called medical advice, which was already discounted by my doctors, was not taken seriously.
One should always be wary of people who talk unashamedly of “fellowship and good cheer” as if it were something that can be applied to life like a poultice. Turn your back for a moment and they may well organize a maypole dance and, frankly, there’s no option then but to try and make it to the treeline.
