The foundation of sex is consent. If consent (including hearing about it and discussing it) is absent, then it is torture.
And I literally mean rape and sexual assault should be considered torture, because they are and they have the same effects on the brain as classic forms of torture, and indeed both SA and rape are used as a form of torture in war. Look at the mass rapes in Ukraine. It’s not for sexual gratification, it’s to torture people, and they also happen to get off on it.
People have different boundaries around what they discuss, especially personal info. It’s important to respect that.
If you want to experience a less inhibited place, I recommend checking out a sex club.
Verbal and emotional abuse are still abuse, still count as harm, and psychological abuse is so effective it is used in psychological warfare.
Physical abuse is to physical torture, what verbal&emotional abuse are to psychological torture.
Maybe learn a little about consent so you stop harming others. I’ve already given you an example of why someone may not want to discuss sex (past trauma), but also, given your personality- they may find YOU distressing to talk with and not a safe person. And by your own words, you aren’t.
I’m fine with you experiencing emotional pain like guilt for things you’ve done wrong. It’s not my job to manage your emotions anyway.
You can’t demand behavior from me - that’s not a boundary (hint hint).
It’s too bad arguments trigger you, but that’s not a trigger I am willing to step around much as simple conflict is part of communities and is not equivalent to discussing sex with people beyond their boundaries in any way. You’re of course welcome to leave the conversation or block me - enforce your boundaries. Which is what people are doing when they don’t talk to you about sex, you’re violating their boundaries and they distance themselves from you as a natural consequence. You have the same options here as the other scenario of someone being given a panic attack because you have to talk about sex in a way that violates their boundaries. That being said, irl there is harassment, so even the law understands things like emotional boundaries. Harassment doesn’t extend to answering someone back on an open forum, though.
It’s so funny, men who are mad women won’t talk about sex with them and then they do stuff like this. I never have the issues you all have, and it’s because it’s a you thing in how you treat others. I just… lol.
No, and your sex ed is incomplete if you don’t understand this.
No, not every activity is consensual. What consent is, is a deeper question and interaction than what you’re making it out to be.
Consent is the foundation of sexual education and sexual interactions.
Freedom of speech is separate, and no, you don’t “need the consent of everyone in the room to talk about something,” but then you’re operating outside of consent, and you may violate emotional boundaries. That includes triggering survivors who may not have expected you to violate social norms and who would have told you, “hey, I don’t like talking about sex in front of people because I get panic attacks.”
These interactions, being between more than 1 person, require the input of the other people. It’s not a great look to force people into accepting sex as you see it or want it.
That includes triggering survivors who may not have expected you to violate social norms and who would have told you, “hey, I don’t like talking about sex in front of people because I get panic attacks.”
That’s true but that’s also true for any number of topics. This is a general “how/when do I talk about potentially triggering topics” issue and has nothing to do with sexual consent.
My dude, you set up the strawman argument of speech in a conversation about sexual consent. They were just trying to explain how they’re not the same thing.
No. I reacted to someone claiming that hearing about sex needs the hearing parties consent, the same as sex needs consent which I don’t agree with.
Talking about sex needs to be done with some caution to not upset others, like many other topics. It’s different from the consent needed for engaging in sexual activities with someone.
Talking about sex needs to be done with some caution to not upset others
This is literally what I’m saying. Upsetting others means you are violating their emotional boundaries. If they do not consent to the interaction, then they might get mad.
It’s literally so easy to say, “hey, I’m going to bring up an adult topic, anyone uncomfortable with that?” And then if anyone says yes, say nevermind. its so easy and you all bellyaching like its a hike up a mountain is WEIRD.
That’s not the issue and you are failing to understand that. I agree with you. But the first comment said that that is the same form and level of consent needed that is needed for sex and that’s just not true.
Should have been angry? What? Do you understand what a boundary is?
Like this is the chain of discussion:
-Sex should he normalized
-Sex must have consent as its foundation, including discussions with your friends, because it’s not a norm (per OP own admission it is taboo! Although I argue it is private&personal rather than taboo) and may trigger people withs equal abuse histories, and if you want to be in a space where that IS the norm, you can try sex clubs
-You then take that to apply to ALL discussions on a discussion board, to say that I have to cater to your feelings so you don’t have to be concerned about consent with others - like, come on. I hope you do feel bad for this garbage take, it seems like you deliberately and maliciously want to blur consent lines particularly sexually and have practice doing so
Yeah, it’s not normal, and not everyone should react that way. But something did happen, and I wonder if I’m supposed to be angry no matter what? Is there something wrong with me if I’m not?
The foundation of sex is consent. If consent (including hearing about it and discussing it) is absent, then it is torture.
And I literally mean rape and sexual assault should be considered torture, because they are and they have the same effects on the brain as classic forms of torture, and indeed both SA and rape are used as a form of torture in war. Look at the mass rapes in Ukraine. It’s not for sexual gratification, it’s to torture people, and they also happen to get off on it.
People have different boundaries around what they discuss, especially personal info. It’s important to respect that.
If you want to experience a less inhibited place, I recommend checking out a sex club.
People talking about sex is not torture. Get a grip.
It is if it’s not consensual.
Verbal and emotional abuse are still abuse, still count as harm, and psychological abuse is so effective it is used in psychological warfare.
Physical abuse is to physical torture, what verbal&emotional abuse are to psychological torture.
Maybe learn a little about consent so you stop harming others. I’ve already given you an example of why someone may not want to discuss sex (past trauma), but also, given your personality- they may find YOU distressing to talk with and not a safe person. And by your own words, you aren’t.
Argumentative comments trigger me, please stop torturing me. Ask for consent before speaking in this shared space.
I’m fine with you experiencing emotional pain like guilt for things you’ve done wrong. It’s not my job to manage your emotions anyway.
You can’t demand behavior from me - that’s not a boundary (hint hint).
It’s too bad arguments trigger you, but that’s not a trigger I am willing to step around much as simple conflict is part of communities and is not equivalent to discussing sex with people beyond their boundaries in any way. You’re of course welcome to leave the conversation or block me - enforce your boundaries. Which is what people are doing when they don’t talk to you about sex, you’re violating their boundaries and they distance themselves from you as a natural consequence. You have the same options here as the other scenario of someone being given a panic attack because you have to talk about sex in a way that violates their boundaries. That being said, irl there is harassment, so even the law understands things like emotional boundaries. Harassment doesn’t extend to answering someone back on an open forum, though.
It’s so funny, men who are mad women won’t talk about sex with them and then they do stuff like this. I never have the issues you all have, and it’s because it’s a you thing in how you treat others. I just… lol.
You know they are just pulling your leg, don’t you?
No, they aren’t. They are justifying abuse because they are abusive. Are you proud to run defense for them?
You are torturing me with your username. Why do you want to harm me and the rest of Lemmy?
Haha was about to say the same thing, they be riding that high horse forgetting their roots
The foundation of every activity people do together is consent. That doesn’t mean I need the consent of everyone in the room to talk about something.
The second paragraph has my full support, the first one seems weird to me.
No, and your sex ed is incomplete if you don’t understand this.
No, not every activity is consensual. What consent is, is a deeper question and interaction than what you’re making it out to be.
Consent is the foundation of sexual education and sexual interactions.
Freedom of speech is separate, and no, you don’t “need the consent of everyone in the room to talk about something,” but then you’re operating outside of consent, and you may violate emotional boundaries. That includes triggering survivors who may not have expected you to violate social norms and who would have told you, “hey, I don’t like talking about sex in front of people because I get panic attacks.”
These interactions, being between more than 1 person, require the input of the other people. It’s not a great look to force people into accepting sex as you see it or want it.
That’s true but that’s also true for any number of topics. This is a general “how/when do I talk about potentially triggering topics” issue and has nothing to do with sexual consent.
My dude, you set up the strawman argument of speech in a conversation about sexual consent. They were just trying to explain how they’re not the same thing.
No. I reacted to someone claiming that hearing about sex needs the hearing parties consent, the same as sex needs consent which I don’t agree with.
Talking about sex needs to be done with some caution to not upset others, like many other topics. It’s different from the consent needed for engaging in sexual activities with someone.
This is literally what I’m saying. Upsetting others means you are violating their emotional boundaries. If they do not consent to the interaction, then they might get mad.
It’s literally so easy to say, “hey, I’m going to bring up an adult topic, anyone uncomfortable with that?” And then if anyone says yes, say nevermind. its so easy and you all bellyaching like its a hike up a mountain is WEIRD.
That’s not the issue and you are failing to understand that. I agree with you. But the first comment said that that is the same form and level of consent needed that is needed for sex and that’s just not true.
That’s funny. I had no idea what I was consenting to, and was more than a little uncomfortable. Does that mean I should have been angry?
Should have been angry? What? Do you understand what a boundary is?
Like this is the chain of discussion:
-Sex should he normalized
-Sex must have consent as its foundation, including discussions with your friends, because it’s not a norm (per OP own admission it is taboo! Although I argue it is private&personal rather than taboo) and may trigger people withs equal abuse histories, and if you want to be in a space where that IS the norm, you can try sex clubs
-You then take that to apply to ALL discussions on a discussion board, to say that I have to cater to your feelings so you don’t have to be concerned about consent with others - like, come on. I hope you do feel bad for this garbage take, it seems like you deliberately and maliciously want to blur consent lines particularly sexually and have practice doing so
Yeah, it’s not normal, and not everyone should react that way. But something did happen, and I wonder if I’m supposed to be angry no matter what? Is there something wrong with me if I’m not?