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Too right.
My parents were all up in my business about my work, what I was doing, who I was seeing, and I felt smothered. Now I can see they just missed me and wanted to know about my life. Since we weren’t sitting around the table taking about our day the only way they could catch up was calling me. I didn’t realize how much their lives changed as I and my siblings moved out. All I could see was my future ahead, moving forward, out of the nest. Their entire lives and routines were being upended after 20 years.
They’re in their 80s now. Dad’s on the decline, I don’t think we’ll have him much longer. I hope OP can get some balance and perspective. Life is too short to hold into resentment
I think the word you’re looking for is ruminate. The word comes from ruminant animals like cows, who partially digest fibrous plants, regurgitate them, and “chew cud”. Which is what we do when we regurgitate negative memories.
My tool, which works for me but i am not a mental health expert, is this:
When i find that I’ve entered a ruminant thought cycle, I’ll start asking these questions and working through it logically
I’m sorry your psychologist was ineffective. A good one can be hard to find