• riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        oki, i just wrote a response but then realised i misunderstood you. sorry about that

        you are right for the situation i described in my comment. you can combine being a lesbian with a lot of other things, to make it a viable contraception.

        i would argue tho, that not liking dick is the entire reason one wouldnt get pregnant in your situation. the lesbian part doesnt matter. meanwhile both a transphobe and a lesbian can get pregnant on their own but a transphobic lesbian can not.

        • Boomkop3@reddthat.com
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          10 days ago

          You’re absolutely right. And transphobes are not worth your attention. I prefer to just assume they don’t like penis and not have it bother me, if at all

        • Szyler@lemmy.world
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          10 days ago

          “not liking dick” is also not an exclusive condition, as you can have sex with a dick and just not enjoy it.

      • 𝓔𝓶𝓶𝓲𝓮@lemm.ee
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        10 days ago

        The biggest joke are people who care only about genitalia. As long as it is slick and there is some liquid it doesn’t matter all that much what the other party has

        Imagine being some kind of radical feminist lesbian sperging for hours about how men treat us as body parts and then see only vaginas and dicks. The irony

        Are you having sex with a cut of meat or a person

        • Zacryon@feddit.org
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          10 days ago

          The last line has so many words I do not know.

          However, since you distinguish sexual interests from romantic ones in some cases, I wonder where for example “panromantic” or “biromantic” would be on your tier list. Similarly homosexuality is not distniguished from homoromanticism etc…

          Nevermind though, in case it wasn’t your intention to create a more or less “complete” picture.

        • thepreciousboar@lemm.ee
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          10 days ago

          Liking one genitalia and not the other is not “traeating people as body parts”. Is it objectivization if a straight cis male likes women, but is not attracted to a transgender woman with male genitalia? I don’t think so…

          • 𝓔𝓶𝓶𝓲𝓮@lemm.ee
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            10 days ago

            If they are attracted to women with male genitalia exclusively they are called chasers so why would the other way around be any different? Genitalia fetishism is always a bit disgustingly reductive

            You will only avoid all this unnecessary garbage if you do not try to categorise these things in artificial labels and just have sex with who you want. If two people want to fuck then they do it and there is no need to call it a mouthful

            Otherwise you get monstrosities like ‚I am only attracted to white boys below 5’10 during blue moon. I call it xyzuality’ just shut up already and keep sucking

            “Oh I like you I am also abcdsexual with vagina preference hihi” like shut the f up and get on your knees

            • thepreciousboar@lemm.ee
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              10 days ago

              If someone is attracted only to woman with male genitalia is not feticism, nor a “chaser”, it’s a sexual preference and, just like any sexual preference, if it’s carried out in a respectful and non-creepy way, it’s perfectly reasonable and must be respected.

              I agree with the proliferiation of labels not being super useful and possibly damaging, while sexuality is very complex. What I don’t agree with is your critique of “liking only genitalia” = “objectivizing”

        • Boomkop3@reddthat.com
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          10 days ago

          If it’s not for you, then it’s not for you. But one thing I cannot recommend: don’t take those who’s preferences you dislike and assume they reduce people to a piece of meat.

          There’s plenty of fish in the sea. You can find some that do like penis, or don’t care, or both.

          • 𝓔𝓶𝓶𝓲𝓮@lemm.ee
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            10 days ago

            The thing is sexuality is a continuous spectrum (0,1). Using advanced mathematical apparatus we can prove that every single person is bisexual. That’s why mathematics is fundamentally gay

            Moreover we must consider intersex people. What if their stuff is 20% dick and 80% vagina?

            • Boomkop3@reddthat.com
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              10 days ago

              Then we need more dimensions in our spectrums. This line from penis to vagina won’t work because both of those have their own unique varying properties

              • 𝓔𝓶𝓶𝓲𝓮@lemm.ee
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                10 days ago

                No.

                You just say: I don’t wan to have sex with you.

                You don’t need to explain yourself, like a wimp, or go into muddy waters of stupid definitions

      • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        oki, i just wrote a response but then realised i misunderstood you. sorry about that

        you are right, that also works

        my intention was to direct attention to how the image implies cis-normativity/transphobia. altho i do see how the image did that by simplifying reality for comical effect and while i dont think i played into similarly opressive structures, i did simply reality myself in my comment.

    • m4xie@lemmy.ca
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      10 days ago

      First off, she could be a T4T lesbian or a cis woman in a closed monogamous relationship with another cis woman.

      Second, many trans women have had orchiectomy or SRS. She could be in a relationship with one of us.

      She could sleep with trans women and neither of them like penetration.

      • Alice@beehaw.org
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        10 days ago

        Sure, but a cis man could also be dating a trans woman in any of these scenarios, and no one would say “heterosexuality” was what was preventing him from becoming a dad.

        When people joke about lesbianism = no pregnancy, it’s because they’re assuming all lesbian relationships are between the same kinds of bodies having the same kind of sex.

    • lazyViking@lemmy.world
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      10 days ago

      Wrong. And it’s pretty fucking disrespectful to force yourself into someone else’s sexual preferences

      • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        id say its disrespectful to pretend lesbian, the label that commonly means woman/non-man lovin women/non-men to mean not being into dicks.

        if you are not into dicks, then just say that, instead of pretending lesbianism excludes people with dicks.

      • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        thats not what i meant. the message was supposed to be “dont equate being a lesbian with disliking dick”. i apologise if i failed at bringing that across. maybe next time i should be more blunt from the start

    • Auli@lemmy.ca
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      10 days ago

      I mean yes it is? Isn’t it pansexual when your into everyone. Not having sex with trans is not a phobia just like not having sex with men or women depending on your preference is not a phobia.

      • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        ofc its not a phobia to have preferences. my critique is towards excluding people from certain labels of gender based attraction, for things other than their gender. especially if those people are systemically opressed for their gender.

        crazy example now, but sometimes that helps seeing things in a new light:

        if i say that im not into old people because i am a lesbian, then thats kinda messed up, because it implies that old women are not women.

        does that help?

        and ofc, because we live in a cis-normative society, many people dont often think about how women can also have dicks. forgetting about that isnt necessairily transphobic but might also just be a cis-normative oopsy.

      • Hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        Trans people being for pansexuals is a common trope in queer pandering media. They specifically pair trans people with pansexuals, so they can be inclusive, but in the specific way that doesn’t ask their mostly cis and straight audience to question their own sexuality, because that might make them uncomfortable.

        Its not a reflection of reality. Hot women are hot, hot men are hot, regardless of how they got there.

      • Nat (she/they)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        10 days ago

        You can be lesbian and not like penis, but being lesbian does not imply that. A lesbian cis woman might be with a trans woman and then that’s not a very effective birth control anymore, but she’s still lesbian.

      • Alice@beehaw.org
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        10 days ago

        I’m a lesbian, I’m not changing my label to pan because I’ve dated trans women. Most people who feel attraction feel it before even learning what genitals the other person was born with.

      • frostysauce@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        Pansexual people aren’t pan because they also like trans people, although in the past some people misused the term that way, e.g, “I’m not bi because I’m into trans people, I’m pan.” That is harmful because obviously trans women are women and trans men are men so if you are bi, you like women and men, that already includes trans people.

        For sure there is nothing wrong with having sexual preferences. If someone prefers their men without a vagina nbd. But pansexual just means you’re open to being into anyone regardless of gender. I’m pan because I’m into women, men, neither, other… Any expression of gender.

      • Xenny@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        Rigid definitions don’t really fully work for non rigid concepts. Sexual attraction, gender, expression and identity all work differently based on the individual. I know definitions are helpful and help us categorize and understand things as humans but human sexuality and gender might be the most complex social behaviours in the entire animal kingdom.

        I for instance identify as bisexual even though I am a trans woman who almost exclusively dates other trans women. I just kinda find some guys cute enough but I very rarely act on it.

        I could be described as a lesbian a bisexual a pansexual or even just gay.

        I also choose to identify as a bisexual because I don’t really see the point of separating trans people in a separate category aside from that. It almost feels like the term “pansexual” was made for some people to say “I like girls and boys but not those ones id like to other specifically for some reason” (also mini rant there’s no word for specific trans attraction but there is one to umbrella them in with everyone and god damn is it fucking annoying the closest thing we have is “trans attracted or T4T” and nobody really knows this shit outside the trans community)

        But another trans girl who exclusively dates trans girls might heavily identify as a pansexual lesbian because it just speaks to her more and she doesn’t share the same views on it as I do.

        Tl:Dr it’s vibes based man