Some tips that have helped me:

• learn makeup and do it even if you aren’t leaving the house, it can really help what you see in the mirror
• wash and style hair, take good care of it (learn how to take care of your hair - this was a whole thing for me, I have curly hair and learning the Curly Girl Method was life-changing)
• put on a cute outfit, again - even if you’re not going anywhere, it feels nice to wear affirming clothes, so do it for yourself (plenty of trans women will wear a bra & panties even at home, when sleeping, or other times others might not normally wear them)
• get nails and toes done (gel lasts the longest in my experience), this has acted for me as a daily visual reminder of my femininity
• for vocal dysphoria: hold the line, spend some time warming up and practicing the voice and then try hard to not let it fall back the rest of the day
• maintain a daily skin routine: find a good cleanser and moisturizer, and at bare minimum cleanse and moisturize your face before bed, and change your pillowcase once a week to help avoid bacterial breakouts; bonus points for using a good ceramide lotion on arms and legs, etc. (esp. where you get dry: knees, elbows, hands, and feet)
• prioritize hygiene, shower once a day and brush your teeth (some people rot, you will feel better if you look and smell nice - pick products that make you feel feminine, I love my lavender scented deodorant, and you can get fun body washes with scents you like)
• go out, sometimes the way I felt best was when I forced myself to feminize fully to try to pass in social situations - I noticed on days when I left my house and actually moved through society as a woman were some of my happiest and least dysphoric days (even when very insecure), esp. when people referred to me as miss or ma’am. Early transition this can be harder when fewer people see you as a woman, but I still think it’s good advice then, too. At the very least it forces you to do makeup and hair, etc. which helps.
• when dysphoria mounts into a crisis of doubt or imposter syndrome that makes me start to want to detransition, I found it really helps to journal - sometimes it’s good just to recall memories that remind you of why you are trans, but in my worst moments I found it helpful to engage in cold analysis: looking at what it means to be cis vs trans, what evidence there would be if I were a cis man vs a trans woman, and then comparing those to my experiences. Usually after a few pages of this kind of “objective analysis”, I finally get the bigger picture and realize I really am trans.

Generally, dysphoria is not as bad for me when other things are going well, e.g. if I’m well hydrated, had a good night’s sleep, and I’m eating healthy my skin tends to look softer and more feminine and is more likely to look “nice” to me.

So, follow the basic steps of being healthy as well:

• eat lots of diverse and healthy foods, including vegetables (avoid processed foods like frozen nuggets or pizza, prefer “whole” foods like baked sweet potatoes, beets, beans, rice, etc.); plenty of my mental health episodes are triggered by being dehydrated or hungry - keep on top of your needs!
• drink lots of water (drink a glass when you wake up, keep water near you all day and remember to actually drink water, drink lots of water with your meals - digestion dehydrates!!, and eat lots of water-rich foods like cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.)
• practice good sleep hygiene: go to bed & wake up at the same times, keep a strict-ish schedule and make sure you give yourself ample sleep opportunity - be luxurious with your sleep and prioritize it over all else (esp. important when you start HRT, you might need more sleep as you undergo neurological changes - it really is a puberty!!)
• get regular aerobic activity, e.g. go for a 20 - 30 minute run a few times a week; stay as active as you can - get in walks after meals, even just walking for 10 minutes can really help the body and mind
• avoid stress and engage in stress reduction activities: take hot baths, meditate, give yourself breaks from work and enough time to come down in the evenings before bed, etc.

It’s less about being perfect and more about doing what you can.

Less conventional tips:

• blur your eyes a little or take off glasses if you have them when around the mirror, I find my brain-worms see a boy in the mirror the most when I have all the fine details, when the image is a little blurry, my mind is more likely to fill in the blanks and see the “girl gestalt” everyone else sees
• reduce exposure to mirrors, esp. in early transition when you look the least yourself (I promise it gets better the longer you’re on HRT); sometimes this just means don’t obsess, but sometimes this means taking whole days off from seeing yourself.
• spend time remembering your most euphoric and affirming moments, recall how you felt and stay with those feelings, close your eyes and replay those memories in your mind, affirm that you wish for yourself to feel this way in the future, explore what would make you feel good in the future, imagine and visualize a happy future for yourself

Thank you for sharing your wisdom, and I’m sorry you had those experiences 🫂

Can confirm I didn’t have this when I took bicalutamide, nor is it a typical side effect.

sounds hopeful, yay! Glad that they eventually went away ❤️

Unclear whether it matters or not, but you might experiment with other routes of administration as well as dose to see if they make a difference. Hopefully that other post will give you some helpful ideas, too, in case it’s related.

See https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/14985192 and paging @[email protected]

this seems similar to what she was describing, pain in legs after injecting estrogen

EDIT: I should say, I’ve never experienced this, even when I was taking bicalutamide. I did have some sensations I would describe like a body buzz, but it was never painful (was pleasant, even).

You might experiment with different doses and see if switching to spiro makes a difference. Might also try monotherapy, just see if any of those experiences are different.

But yes, bioidentical estrogen should be totally safe, esp. if you are injecting it or using it transdermally (still safe orally, but it impacts your liver some, which I doubt is what’s going on here).

why is it so painful to be interrupted when focusing?

Maybe this is sorta dumb, but meditation is a free way to feel good and spend time, and also a free method of stress relief and to reduce suffering.

It’s not free in terms of your time & energy, and it might cost some money to learn, but the best meditation manual I know of is free online, or at least it used to be - it looks like it was locked down on archive.org, but you can still find it on Anna’s Archive, and you can probably find it at your local library. Either way, you can learn to meditate for free, that’s how I did it.

Running is likewise relatively free (you do generally have to pay for running shoes, and athletic clothing can be expensive, but it’s relatively cheap over the lifetime of those items, and it’s cheaper than most other activities). A great and accessible way to feel good and stay healthy.

House of Leaves

I checked my actual gaff and it doesn’t even say what the material is (like on the tag, anywhere)!!

can confirm I use a gaff from them to tuck and it works pretty well to hold things tight - though it doesn’t eliminate all bumps or smooth out the area completely. I could imagine that working for hiking, though I suspect it would get pretty warm and sweaty and after days I’m not sure how the rubbing and movement would feel. Could work, though.

hm, I don’t see a way I could tuck comfortably for a hike. I get rashes on my skin if I even just wear my bra too long after a run, so this might be more a me problem. I can’t wear closed-toed shoes longer than a few hours without risking a rash. Same with underwear, I have found it causes rashes on my lower back if I wear it all day, though women’s underwear tends to be better for this - I don’t think it would be when sweating and being active.

Another difference with me: I have had an orchi and my genitals were small to start with and don’t really move around much. I don’t love the remaining scrotum and sometimes it can give me a sickening dysphoria if it slaps against a thigh (🤢), but it’s not as problematic as before.

So, I generally don’t wear any underwear when I run or hike, etc.

I guess when it’s cold enough I do wear leggings that have a mild tucking effect, but maybe not enough for girlies with larger bits.

honestly I think they just wanted to make money - it went for a while without being caught

hm, I would imagine tucking could be uncomfortable while hiking - is it possible to wear baggy shorts or pants that make it possible to not tuck?

Sounds like a parasomnia, I had those occasionally before I started estrogen. I haven’t had one since starting HRT.

I still have a hard time telling when I’m dissociating or experiencing derealization or depersonalization - acute episodes are more noticeable like during traumatic events.

It’s hard for me to differentiate these as PTSD symptoms from something like gender dysphoria. My PTSD has made it harder to recognize or acknowledge my gender dysphoria.

An employee was angry about an unfair policy and was being punished for not complying, and in his anger he threw a chair. This was before my time, but security had to escort the employee out of the building and he was fired on the spot. That story still circulates even though it’s been over a decade.

At another workplace some employees were caught having sex.

At another workplace a manager and employees were running a drug operation out of a drive-thru.

There were other things, but honestly humans are so predictable, they’re usually:

• fucking one another
• threatening, fighting, or trying to kill one another
• trying to get high or stay high
• stealing, cheating, or otherwise trying to enrich themselves

So a lot of the stories are of one form or another - employee who always came in extremely drunk and worked her shift drunk for years, only fired after some violent incidents and indecent exposure because of excessive drunkenness.

One employee was homeless and sleeping on the roof of the store, he was caught climbing down one morning.

Another guy was peddling drugs outside the store.

Anyway - poverty is fun, y’all!

yes, and in some sense it doesn’t really matter if even the founding of America conflicts with their America - they believe their America is more American. This is the reactionary mindset, that the past is best while not even having the education to know what the past was. Instead the ideals are set as an agenda by whatever the reactionary institutions say the past is, and in political movements those ideals and details often change as needed for political gains. Unfortunately this is not just exclusive to reactionaries (the Russian revolution brought about Stalin after all and the French revolution led to Napoleon), but I do tend to think reactionary minds are more quick to accept reality based on authority rather than reason or evidence, and that makes them more politically convenient as followers.

All the more reason to view the reactionaries as not really invested in any particular past or tradition, but instead as being influenced by certain groups and people - those most visible and influential often being more like grifters than theologians.

I mean, same - I wonder all the same things too, but I didn’t ask them because I assumed they would pose a risk 🤷‍♀️

of course, but that might be part of the reason they shouted their loyalty to it all the louder

looking at you, Sarah McBride 👀