Me
I’ve never realized it could get this bad. I’ve always been miserable my whole life, but i feel like i’ve hit a new low. The combination of middle eastern politics, toxic environment and stressful worklife is such a toxic one…
I took a day off today, because i was so anxious that all i could do is lie on the couch and pray it passes. Didn’t have anyone to help me, since everyone i knew was asleep (i wake up very early) or i didn’t want to annoy them. I felt like i just wanted to jump off the building to stop the pain.
Then i took zoloft a couple of minutes ago. I’m not having a panic attack anymore (hence me creating this post) but i still feel so shitty. I’ve had a horrible day before it even started, and i have a huge backlog of work that i have to finish in two days. Usually i forget to take zoloft, since i felt like it doesn’t have an effect at all on me (maybe i’ll make another post about this later) But i guess it helps a little.
Bah, rant over.
You must log in or register to comment.
Understandable honestly. The news is so depressing especially in the middle east. Gaza, Sudan, Syria etc. I’ve been intentionally avoiding it because it hurts. Focusing on my own life and what I can affect that sort of thing.
Yeah sucks to live here 🙃 There’s also much more stuff, that’s just the tip of the iceberg sadly. It’ll take us a century to become somewhat stable lol.
I agree. I basically think “I’ll check back in 20 years”. Meanwhile I’m doing my best to establish a new life elsewhere asap.
deleted by creator
Contemplating just giving up on the public system here for any sort of real answers or solutions. But I’ll see.
For personal reasons, I’m not keen on the idea of self diagnosing anything. But what I will allow myself to do is lurk in spaces where I feel like I identify with a lot of people or things they go through. And learn.
So honestly feeling pretty low for a number of reasons right now. But like, what’s new? Lol. And while the economy is shit, at least I’m pretty far away from any signs of war or far right politicians wiping their asses with the constitution where I am.
Edit: sorry for the deleted comment. I accidentally posted this as response to an ongoing conversation instead of top level comment.
I also lurk in those communities. I don’t call, label or diagnose myself; i just kind of vaguely relate to them.
Personally i’m concerned for a whole war/more genocide in the region. But not much we can do but hope.
(Np, i noticed the comment but i knew it was a mistake c:)
So far this week I’ve been good, way better than last week, haven’t lost my shit at my job yet so that’s good, but it’s only Tuesday so who knows, but current trajectory has me having a good week, so imma stick with that.
The last two weeks all I’ve done is mostly sleep and work. I thought I was doing a bit better last week but I guess not, I basically slept the entire weekend. I bought some new video games but couldn’t get into them.
Yesterday I cooked a stew and enjoyed that, it tastes great, so that felt good. Cooking is meditative for me.
Work has been busy, but it’s not an uncomfortable kind of busy. I know the job market is going to go to shit soon so I am trying to show I’m worth my keep.
I definitely put on some weight this winter so I’m trying to lose weight. Working out still sucks — I’m so out of shape and I can’t find the right things to distract my brain while exercising.
OP I’m sorry you’re going through that. The toxic workplace situation was me last year and I know how that can feel. I hope things get better for you soon.
deleted by creator
