Meaningful.
The clue is in meaningful.
If I’m being manipulated from on-high by some otherworldy powerful, possibly eldritch abomination, then that’s actually way more metal than just being some dude.
edit: I was supposed to criticise the relationship advice, got it… Yeah, I’m divorced.
The couples that argue all the time, they hate smalltalk. Just tell him to bring out the trash.
Hi honey did you see today’s shitposts memes?
Yep.
I think the point is more to filter out people quickly who you couldn’t be in a sustainable relationship with anyways.
I don’t mind it as much as i used to anymore. But ten years ago, i consistently associated “small-talk” people with people who were superficial and wouldn’t comprehend important issues should they ever come up anyways.
Also i’m not sure how right i was about that.
You need a bit balance of everything. I used to be snooty about small-talk. Eventually I started noticing that the most personable people, who make someone new feel welcome, included, and who make you feel like you’re noticed and worth remembering through recalling basic personal details–these people have excellent small-talk skills.
I think part of why small-talk often feels pointless is because people don’t enter into it intentionally, with purpose. If you go into it with purpose, like creating a good social experience for others, or building/maintaining 2nd/3rd order social connections in a humanizing way, it feels a lot different. Like anything, it’s still exhausting after a certain amount.
My speech is deep. My beard is neck.
That sounds great, actually
We would share comfortable silences and not feel the need to talk at all.
Kinda just hoping they love me for who I am and not some forced version of myself that makes me feel like a complete ass.
As someone who’s not been in an real relationship this is my fear as well, even if I find someone how will I keep them engaged enough for a lifetime. I rarely even text the women I get digits from, I’m just very comfortable being alone and now it’s getting problematic
But if you feel comfortable, why is it problematic?
There’s more to life than just being comfortable, most things that are worthwhile require getting out of your comfort zone, and I think I’ve realized as I’ve grown older is that a relationship is worthwhile
That’s beautifully written and very to the point. I wish you well in your search for a partner who takes you as you are and, equally important, who you like as they are.
No. Because the people in power use their influence to torture everyone else.
It’s not small talk, because i actually care how my wife’s day was.
How do you get married to someone if you never started with small talk?
Fill the void with intercourse.
Because that way “I see you as a friend!” lies. At least that’s why I’m single.
I guess I see small talk as gateway questions to deeper conversations. I met me wife by asking about the weather.
“Hi there! Beautiful weather we’re having, isn’t it?”
“Yes, perfect for marrying…”
The free will question is much closer to the conversations I was having with my wife before we got married. We were talking for hours every day, I can’t imagine spending hours on small talk.
In the case of my grandfather he just went all in on his batshit insane stories, his first one was apparently how he electrocuted his balls. My grandmother avoided him initially, but after she realized he was the charming type of insane she warmed up to him. The fuck were people doing in the 70s?
Electrocuting their balls, apparently.
Well that and using chemicals that cause cancer if you don’t use a mask with a filter. He came to regret that one. My grandfather was a walking OSHA violation.
Try getting married to a dragon, they don’t care about small talk
I can’t, morally, upvote you but I appreciate your self-consistency.
What did drag do?
Idk. Everyone’s done something but I don’t know them like that.
I was adopting a joke stance against their dragon fuckinf.
Well that wasn’t really the question. But actually I met her when we were both pretty young so I don’t recall it being much of an issue. We probably talked about kid stuff.
What’s your favorite color? Do you like hot wheels? Perhaps our definition of small talk differs from others. To me it’s a starting point to get into deeper conversations.
through meeting with intent so your talks are not small.
You seem lovely on dates
Asking someone you love “How was your day?” is a meaningful question. Small talk is bullshit time wasting between randos or acquaintances.
“Lovely weather today, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, makes me feel like picnics,”
is expressing feelings to each other, affirming a shared worldview in which sunny weather is good, and affirming the value of each others’ feelings and potential plans.
Just because the real meaning is hidden, doesn’t negate the value.
That’s fair. Sometimes I can be a bit grumpy with randos.
Nope. Free will is an illusion that we have because we live in a world that’s too complex to predict. We are a product of our circumstance.
