A few weeks ago, after I got out of the shower, my girlfriend and I were joking around about how cold it was. She looked down, laughed, and made a comment about how small I looked. We both thought it was funny in the moment. She asked if she could take a picture — we both have vault apps for stuff like that — and I agreed, as long as she deleted it right after. She did, or so I thought.
Fast forward a week later: we’d just come back from a trip, and she was showing photos to two of her friends. I was sitting across the room when I suddenly saw both girls freeze, then burst out laughing. They looked right at me — and I knew. One of those photos had slipped through. My girlfriend looked horrified, took the phone back, and apologized immediately. Her friends tried to change the subject, but the damage was done.
After they left, she came upstairs crying. I was upset at first, but it was clear she felt terrible. I told her it was okay, even though I was completely humiliated.
It’s been a little while, and I still can’t shake the feeling. I keep replaying that moment in my head — them laughing, looking right at me. I know it wasn’t intentional, but I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so exposed.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? How do you move on?
You need a psycho doc.
Idk man. If she said she was going to delete and she didn’t, that’s one thing, but showing it to her friends on top of that? I’d be pissed. Big red flag. Pretty big betrayal of trust. If I were you I would contemplate leaving her unless maybe she’s perfect in every other way. At the very least you need to have a serious talk with her. You say that you told her it was ok but clearly you don’t actually think it is, you need to tell her that it wasn’t ok.
Dude if they’re close friends they definitely talked about your dick many times before so you shouldn’t worry too much.
As a fix maybe you can discuss this with your girl so she can clarify to her friends in some form that she’s getting plenty of dick despite the pic. Clearly she cares and seems like she’d go through with it. Just be open about it - your partner should be able to support you through this even if its silly, especially if its silly actually.
I’m old. I’ve seen stuff like this before. Im thinking red flag. I don’t know her motives… But a) taking a pic of that (at an understandably bad time) is odd. Funny, maybe, but also could be used in an unhealthy way. Add that to the fact she said she’d delete it, and didn’t… She wanted to use it for something. And a pic like that can only be used for something sinister. She cried. She was sorry… But you are now in the loop of self doubt. What she did was put you in a place of mental trauma and could be called mental abuse. Could be, I say.
How long have you been with her? How does she honestly make you feel? Warm and happy, or doubting? Ask your friends and family what they think. They may have a clearer view of things than you, having known you longer and caring for you…
That being said, I was young one. It’s tough. But it can also be amazing. I wish you good judgement or mental fortitude. You’re going to need one, the other, or both.
I metaphorically devour the memory for power. You’re still alive and it’s highly likely that you’re the only person on the entire planet thinking about it. Obviously these memories are extremely powerful, but it’s not doing me any good if I just feel embarrassed again every time I think about them. Harness that crazy shame energy and try to put it to actual productive use somehow. Just knowing that I can be that embarrassed and be absolutely fine actually gives me more confidence. Simply wallowing in the embarrassment only takes confidence away.
Well said. Thanks for the thoughtful reply.
This guy again.
EDIT: Can’t find a proper cache, but Googling OP’s username brings up a snippet of his previous small-penis humiliation kink post: https://files.catbox.moe/kgbkzb.png
This is fake. OP makes new accounts all the time and posts humiliating questions in AskLemmy and NoStupidQuestions, making everybody else non-consenting participants in his sexual kink.
Admins need to ban him from the instance completely.
Thank you.
That’s actually insane. I’m sorry, OP, I don’t know how I would deal with it besides just letting time do its thing. And I’m NGL, I don’t think I’ve ever even been in a room with someones as devilish as your ex…
Fluff a little, have your GF take another pic and have her orchestrate some situation in which she accidentally shows her friend that fluffed dick pic. It’s only fair.
Honestly though, is the problem more because you’re embarrassed about penis size or that they saw a pic of your dick?
We’re all animals. We have genitals. It’s not a big deal. Nudity is such a taboo in western societies and penis size is such a scam.
I would address it with them so it’s not some constant elephant in the room. You can then gauge if they’re cool about it or not. If they make you feel uncomfortable then you need to be vocal about it and your gf should back you up. Imagine if it was the other way around. You’d be a complete asshole to joke about some girl’s nude pic that you accidentally saw.
More so about how much small I looked in the picture. I get what you’re saying about everyone having genitals, but it was embarrassingly small (the reason we took the pic). My gf will tell them that, but it doesn’t get the image out of their head.
Fuck off, liar.
I would be shocked if my friend surprised me with a dick pic, especially if she didn’t realize it was on her phone. Sometimes I laugh when I’m shocked (it is a terrible reaction). And it would have nothing to do with what the pic looked like or who it was and everything to do with my friend being kind of a dumb ass. So, I hope it can take the some of edge off of this situation knowing their reaction was probably more towards your girlfriend and less about you.
I appreciate the feedback, but it’s super obvious what they were laughing at. It was an objectively funny looking picture that most people would laugh at (the reason we took the picture). I just need to own that and push through the embarrassment.
Therapy.
If you took the pic cause it was funny at the time and the girls laughed when they saw it, I think your best option is to laugh at it too. It’s not the worst case scenario and if you’re worried about your rep with those girls or something the best look is to not worry about it.
Invite them back over and masturbate aggressively while they enjoy cocktails and reminisce.
Didn’t know Louis CK is on lemmy.
And keep eye contact. Preferably without blinking.
What a bummer, direct hit in a commonly held insecurity. I guess the best way to get over it is sleep with her friends so they can see it normal size. Also, your girlfriend fucked up, so she can’t bitch about you doing so and should help it happen. Or have take a picture of yourself fully engages and from a flattering angle, and have your girl share that. Also, if it needs to be said, don’t let anyone take a picture of you that you wouldn’t want family to see. Ever. One of the firm rules I’ve always lived by.
This is everything
