Hey- we weird uncles work hard to get the good stuff. Don’t be hatin’!
I was that uncle one time. We blew a bucket into orbit.
I didn’t have a chance to be this year, but I’m usually that uncle. I’ve also been known to repackage individual fireworks into much larger fireworks. I used to make thermite but I’m too nervous for that now.
I do take safety precautions and the kids don’t get to play with the shit that will blow you up. If an adult wants to blow off their fingers that’s their problem.
Blasting a bucket into orbit is fun!
You make me want to visit Texas. They should sign you up for the tourist board.
Y’all only get to hear about our shitty politicians, and they do suck diseased horse wang. However, there’s a lot of cool shit to do and a lot of cool people to hang out with.
“Come to Texas! We have Mexican andTexMex food, delicious brisket, and some drunk idiot will blow shit up for your entertainment! Just don’t come if you’re pregnant and planning to get an abortion.”
Uncle Nub (yes, that was a real person) would be proud of me for bringing people to watch that and eat.
Please recommend good obscure food places that only locals know about
And they end up saving you from a werewolf attack.
Gandalf riding to the Shire.
Gandalf was rocking a very different look in his younger years.
They save money on the fuse length.
The reason is Fun.
“Uncle” Mike, always coming through with the half sticks and a “you didn’t get this from me”. 🤙
Had one of these uncles, he also featured a single good eye, the other damaged in a previous fireworks mishap. Didn’t stop him though, and the bad eye could see clear underwater he’d say.
the bad eye could see clear underwater he’d say.
Well that’s fuckin’ fascinating! I want an amphibious uncle.
Uncle Ribbit.
Uncle jumps up onto the deck
You and the other kids get ready for a fire works show
Jake the Snake reaches into his bag and drops a hundred pound python onto your shoulders
The kids roar with excitement as you pass out from the snake wrapped around your neck and chest
Needs to do the DDT first. Then the snake after the 3 count lol
lol … god we used to go wild watching all that when we were kids and mock DDT the youngest kid in our group
My older brother and I would do the moves after watching Sunday afternoon WWF. DDT onto the bed mattress was common practice. Jake was a badass.
Fuck no, not anymore. Firework prices have gone insane.
I can’t remember what the name of the firework the store was selling was, but the one near us had a banner saying that six of them were $300.
And people go in and out of that place all day.
My mother was just telling me about “Motorcycle Pete”, an old man who lived in our neighborhood through her childhood and early adulthood who was known for making homemade fireworks for the kids in town.
The city him to stop after 9/11.
My wife’s uncle brought out some homemade dynamite. I wasn’t getting anywhere near it, but that shit rocked the house from across the field.
1920s moment
